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In a previous post called “The Two Kinds of Tantrums” we described how certain tantrums require that parents move towards their children to help them to deal with their overwhelming emotions, while a second kind of tantrum requires that parents move away from their child.
With this in mind we’ve sourced a few practical tips from http://www.allsands.com/ for you; something to keep up your sleeve for when your child genuinely needs emotional support and you feel as if you need a “magic wand” to make things better!
3 quick comfort measures for a child of any age
There are times when all children become angry or upset. It can be caused by something as simple as having been out at the mall too long, or even something more obvious like a sibling taking the other child’s favourite toy. There are quick and simple ways you can calm your child, but be aware that each child is different and may prefer different methods to settle down.
1. Small children are often comforted by being held tightly. Rock and sing to them. Express your love for them in terms that increase in size. For example, “My love for you is as big as a bug.” Then progress to, “My love for you is as big as a gorilla.” Encourage your child to help you think up bigger and bigger things until they are no longer focused on the anger.
2. Whisper in your child’s ear. Whisper that you love them, or whisper something silly. If they’ve been screaming this will stop them as they strain to listen to you. If you can think up something really great to say, often the upset turns to laughter or at least a less frantic mood.
3. Hold your child and tell them they have a smile inside, and if they don’t let it out it will turn into a giggle. Often it will. If your child is reticent to smile, tickle them gently, or say “no laughing” and usually this will turn things around until the anger is replaced with laughter and smiles.
These methods are not meant to encourage any parent to ignore their child’s anger. Once you have your child calmed down, you can then ask what the trouble is. The point of calming them is not only for emotional reasons, but they will not be able to communicate very well if they are screaming, crying or too upset to speak. Talk softly and gently to your child so that talking about what just angered and upset them doesn’t bring it all back, causing another fit of anger or tears.
The Practically Speaking Team
when we know better... we do better
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