10 tips to boost speech & language development

Children are talking less. In fact, research in the UK points to a disturbing trend where half of all five-year-olds entering primary school are very far behind on their speech milestones. “Up to 300,000 [children] are struggling to string a sentence together or [aren’t able] to understand simple instructions by the age of five,” says the Daily Mail article penned by Sarah Harris. And, says Sarah, the main reason for this sad state of affairs is that today’s parents simply spend less time speaking to their children than the parents of yesteryear...

    This is all fine and well, but we’re beyond busy these days aren’t we? Just how can we fit more time into our days? The fact is, being a parent has always been a really tough job, but our parents didn’t have television ‘digital’ babysitters or battery operated decoys… They had to find a way to include us and engage us… The simplest way back then was through conversation. And parents today can do the same – for the sake of their children’s ability to speak and understand language.

   The good news is that there are 10 easy pointers that can amplify your efforts as you encourage your little one’s speech and language skills.

1.       Put yourself in your child’s shoes
What does your child want to talk about? What would be most important to your child in the different situations you find yourselves in? Your child is most likely to pay attention to what you say when you’re talking about something that interests him, albeit using simple language. On top of this, you can  learn a great deal about what your little one is thinking and feeling by looking at his facial expressions and his body language to see where he is focusing his attention.

2.       Make it meaningful and simple

Always start with the most natural and common use of a word possible.
  
   For example, start with ‘bird’ before progressing to ‘goose’ or ‘duck’.

3.       Get descriptive
Try not to just name things, but describe them too…

   For example, ‘see the shiny apple’ or ‘touch the cat softly’. And, instead of simply saying, “Put it over there”, you can say “Please put the fluffy cushion on the blue chair.” The more specific and descriptive our language is as we speak to children, the more they learn.

4.       Get real
While it remains  really important to read books with your child and point to pictures, language is often learned much quicker through actual experience. For example, it is much easier to learn the words ‘kick’ and ‘ball’ when you’re actually kicking a ball together.

5.       Make the most of everyday opportunities
This is really an easy one, because any toddler wants to be involved anyway.

   For example, let your child help you pack the washing machine and talk about ‘socks’, ‘pants’, and other clothes, or let them “help” you find things in the grocery store.

   It’s great to introduce children to new and novel experiences for obvious reasons, but everyday experiences are specifically valuable because they create the opportunity for children to learn through real life experience. It’s also easy to repeat these experiences over and over again.  

6.       Use gestures
Not only is it ok, it is actually great if you use gestures for certain words such as ‘hello’ (wave), ‘fetch the…’ (point), ‘sit on my lap’ (pat your lap) etc. You can also indicate when things are big or small with your hands or point if you want your child to climb over or under something. To add to the meaning as well, you can use your voice and facial expressions to indicate anger, sadness, sleepiness, happiness etc.

7.       Repetition, repetition, repetition
It is very important to emphasize and repeat the words you want your child to learn. Sometimes you may need to repeat something several times and sometimes a hundred times; it depends on the age of your child and the particular word.

   For example, you can emphasize the word whenever the moment arises and then repeat it immediately again, “It is time to bath. You like to bath. Let’s go bath!”

8.       Respond immediately
There is nothing like an instant response to tell a child that using language and speaking is important and valuable to them. When your child sees results, there will be more incentive for them to try and try again.

   For example, when you’re child points at a dog and says ‘dog’, you can respond by saying, ‘Yes… there is the dog! What do dogs say? Woof woof!’

9.       Practice makes perfect
At first your child will be approximating words and they may not be pronounced perfectly. This is just fine at first, so encourage your child to use the word without correcting the mistake and embarrassing your child.   Rather respond by using the word correctly in a sentence, for example, when your child points to a baby and says, “ba”, you can respond with, “Oh yes, a baby! Let’s say hello to the baby!”

10.   What words are not…
In order to learn what things are, your child also needs to know what they are not… It’s generally best to point out what something is before pointing out what it is not…

    For example, when you are playing with a ball you can use the ‘ball’ and then refer to a cube and say, ‘Is this a ball? No! Of course not! (and giggle) It’s a cube!’

   When research tells us that parents are spending more time watching television than in meaningful conversation with their children, it becomes concerning. Language is vitally important for a child’s intellectual development and being a parent is a lot like being a tour-guide to your child’s world.

   Talking to your children doesn’t have to mean dedicating more time that doesn’t actually exist – it just means switching off the television, getting them involved and making a little effort to talk to them – they will love it and so will you!

Remember, if your child can’t name it, he can’t claim it.

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better...

To comment or to be added to the mailing list for blog updates please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

How to improve your child's memory

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Do you remember a time when that complicated maths problem in 8th grade suddenly made sense? It was as if the clouds parted and the understanding 'dawned on you', changing the way you viewed maths from then on? Or is there another moment when a sudden realisation left you looking at the world in a completely new way?

Our children are in the unique position where this kind of learning - the kind that facilitates seeing the world from a new perspective - happens all the time! But what makes this kind of experience 'stick' into long-term memory?

A recent study done by the Weizmann Institute of Science discovered that we tend to remember 'aha' moments that are emotionally-laden better than ones that have no emotional context.

Using MRI scans, the researchers found that when participants were given certain 'aha' moments, the part of the brain called the amygdala was activated. This is the area of the brain associated with emotion.

In the study, participants were shown degraded and hardly identifiable images and then were shown the actual (clear) image - in an effort to create a moment of 'oh... that's what it is!'

However, not all images elicited an emotional response or 'lit up' the amygdala. In the end the researchers were able to actually predict that those images which elicited an emotional response from the amygdala guaranteed that the participant would be able to remember what the degraded image represented a long time after.

This corresponds with what we believe when it comes to helping your child to remember and learn new things - that when learning occurs in an emotional context, it 'sticks'.

There are three simple ways to give your child an emotionally-laden learning experience:

1. Create an opportunity for your child to make their own discovery.
When you allow your child to make their own discovery, for example that a big ball does not fit into a small opening, but that a small ball does, you allow them to experience an 'aha' moment of their own.

2. Make sure there is a fun atmosphere.
Making the learning experience fun, with lots of emotion from your part, helps to make the moment 'stick' into your child's memory. For example, when reading a book, make funny voices for each of the characters, exaggerate your facial expressions when pointing at the pictures and make the whole experience really fun for your child.

3. Praise your child.
When your child learns something new or completes a task, praise goes a long way towards giving the moment an emotional context. If you want to learn more about praise, visit the posts we did on this subject here and here.

By adding emotion to your child's learning experience, you can go a long way towards helping them to create memories and learn.

Study: Weizmann Institute of Science (2011, March 31). New insight into 'aha' memories.

The Practica Team
Parents who know better... do better.

Do you have a comment or do you want to be added to the emailed new-post alert? Email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Concentration - your child's mental workout!

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Parents often phone into the Practica Program Advisory Service asking why concentration is not listed as a ‘skill’ in the Parent’s Guide. This is because most parents want to help grow their children’s ability to concentrate. We agree that it is very important and felt this was indeed a topic to discuss!

What is concentration?

Let’s start off by saying that concentration is a term that describes the brain’s ability to keep on going at a task, much like the term ‘fitness’ describes the body’s ability to keep on going during a sport’s game.

    Researchers can use PET scans to point out different regions in the brain that control speech, analytical reasoning, emotional experiences, visual processing, auditory processing, motor skills and so on – but there is no region in the brain that can be pointed out as the ‘concentration’ hotspot. So instead of viewing concentration as a ‘skill’ on its own, it helps to think of concentration as being ‘mentally fit’.

How does a child naturally learn to concentrate for longer?
As discussed in earlier posts, a child’s brain is ‘wired’ during the early years of life, mainly during the first 3 years, and up to early-school-years. (If you missed that post, click here.) Two interesting processes go along with this ‘wiring’ process: (1) myelination and (2) the development of brain cohesion.

    1. Myelination: We know by now that activities which use the brain will develop a stronger neural network of connections between brain cells. As this process unfolds, a waxy covering develops around each and every neural connection that acts as ‘insulation’ in the same way as one would like to insulate an electrical wire to keep the sparks from flying all over the place. The more a certain region of the brain is used, the thicker these myelin sheaths develop around the brain cell connections in that area, and the smoother and more quickly information will travel there.

    As this process of myelination progresses throughout the various regions of a child’s brain, the child gradually learns to process information more effectively, focus his attention better, and keep going for longer. In other words – he learns to ‘concentrate’.

    2. Brain cohesion: The more various regions of the brain are used together in combinations, the better they learn to ‘talk’ to each other. That is called ‘brain cohesion.’ Interestingly, different tasks require different combinations of brain regions to work together.

    For example, as a child listens to a story while looking at the illustrations, he uses a special combination of brain regions that include those that process sounds, visual images, language, emotions, logical sequences and memory. However, when the same child looks at an instruction card to build a construction with blocks, he also uses the visual part, but now combines it with other regions, like those that control eye-hand coordination and logical reasoning.

    The more a certain combination of brain regions work together, the better they learn to talk to each other – it’s as if the information gets to travel on big highways between regions that are used together often, as opposed to having to travel on little footpaths between other regions of the brain.

    This explains why parents often report that a child can ‘concentrate at home’ but not at school. The simple explanation is that a formal school environment expects of the child to use combinations of brain regions together that he may not often get the opportunity to use together at home or in a pre-school. A good example of this would be a child who seldom listens to stories, but loves to play blocks can easily get to the point where he plays with his blocks for 30 minutes, but continues to ‘space out’ or start talking about other things after listening to a story (or a lesson) for 3 minutes!

How to train your child to concentrate for longer:

Step 1: Start by determining your child’s developmental level.
Many parents do not understand just how long their child should be able to concentrate for at any given age, so here is a practical age-by-age list:

Age and concentration in minutes

1 year = 1 minute

1,5 years = 2 minutes

2 years = 3 minutes

2,5 years = 5 minutes 

3 years = 10 minutes

4 years = 15 minutes

5 years = 20 minutes

6 years = 25 minutes 

    The most that a child of six years or older can concentrate for is 25 minutes, which is why the South African Department of Education has chosen to structure all school lessons in 25-30 minute intervals. In fact, most adults are also only able to really tolerate 25 minutes of concentration at a time as well.

Note to Practica Parents: One of the greatest benefits of the Practica Program is that the activities listed for every age group in the Parents' Guide has been specifically selected to last as long as a typical child of that age is able to concentrate.

Step 2: Build from the bottom up.
A person wanting to run the comrades marathon will start with a 10 minute walk once a day and build up to a point where they are fit enough to take on an 80km run, and again, this rings true for your child’s ability to concentrate.

    Similarly, if your 6 year old can concentrate for only 3-5 minutes, meet him where he is at by playing a wide variety of games with him that require of him to focus his attention and complete a task while actively using his mind for 3-5 minutes. (Parents who own a Practica Program can save time by paging to the 2-year old section in the Parents’ Guide and choosing activities from all the various sections listed under that age, because the games in that section are designed to last for 3-5 minutes.)

    After a number of weeks, when your child is confident that he can easily play all kinds of games for 5 minutes at a time, move on to activities that encourage your child to keep going for 10 minutes at a time (listed in the 3-year old section in the Parents' Guide) … and so forth. Keep going slowly but surely until your child reaches the point where he enjoys activities that are age-appropriate for a 6-year old and keeps going for 25 minutes at a time.

Important pointers:

1. Variety is very important
Spending many hours practising your tennis game isn’t going to do much to improve your soccer skills – simply because each game requires a unique combination of body parts to work together well. Similarly, the best way to prepare a young child for any challenge that may come his way later on in his schooling career is to play a WIDE variety of activities and games on a regular basis. We’re repeating ourselves, but this important factor is so often overlooked that it is worth repeating!

2. Don’t waste precious concentration time!
Don’t be discouraged when you spend 20 minutes preparing an interesting activity for your 2,5-year-old only to find that they get bored after five minutes! This is completely normal!

    This is not to say that you shouldn’t prepare activities, but it is a great idea to prepare them once a week for the week ahead (as is recommended by the Practica Program), so that you have them on hand quickly and can catch your little one when they’re ready to interact.

    It is also a good idea to spread activities out. Do some brain-building interaction for the length of time listed above and then take a 10-15 minute break and do the same thing or something new again after that. This gives your child a chance to ‘recharge’ and be mentally ready for the next activity.

3. Differentiate between fun and fitness
In physical fitness there is a real difference between the benefits of swing-ball (which is fun) and the benefits of tennis (which builds fitness), and the same rule applies to building mental fitness.

    While it may be fun to run around outside, unpack the Tupperware drawer and bang pots together, and free-play and creativity have their place in your child’s day, this kind of unstructured activity is not going to exercise your child’s ability to concentrate.

    The kinds of games and activities that do improve concentration involve anything where there is a task to be completed, a plan to be followed, steps to take in a progressive fashion and a goal at the end of the activity. For example, finding all the yellow marbles, or stacking a tower of 10 blocks high, matching all the same coloured socks, building a construction with building blocks according to the instructions on an instruction card, singing a song from beginning to end with specific gestures at various points, etc.

4. Make building self-confidence a priority.
The greatest draw-back for a 6-year old who cannot concentrate for long is not always the obvious consequence of not being able to follow instructions and complete tasks – it’s more often the fact that he has been told directly or indirectly, over and over again by various adults in various situations that he cannot concentrate!

   In light of this, starting with activities aimed at 2-year-old level of concentration and building up from there has a dual purpose – not only are the activities short, but they’re also easy. By moving on to more advanced and longer activities gradually, you ensure that your child experience success over and over again, in a wide variety of contexts, he starts to believe in himself and his abilities. If you do not have a Practica Program you can still help your child by ensuring that you meet them where they are at, and slowly increasing the length of time in which they are encouraged to concentrate on completing a task.

    Concentration is important, especially when it comes to school as well as just learning about life in general, and just like keeping your body fit, it is all about keeping your mind fit as well!

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better

Comments, or a request to be added to the post update alert email? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

What makes educational games really valuable?

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When little Johnny’s mother points to a picture and states that the elephant is ‘big’ and the mouse is ‘small’ it doesn’t mean much to the little guy.

Later, as the two of them are packing toys away, he tries to fit his big inflatable beach ball into the smaller sized toy basket with no success. His mom adds meaning to his experience by saying” Oh dear! The ball is BIG and the opening is SMALL. Let’s pack all the BIG toys here next to the wall and put the SMALLER things in the toy hamper.”

That evening, when she points to the picture in the book again, Johnny’s eyes light up when she talks about the “big” elephant and the “small” mouse. On their way to the bathroom Mom says: “Let’s make BIG steps like the elephant, and now make SMALL steps like the mouse” and the concept of big and small is slowly but surely starting to become more real to him!

Little children live and learn in a physical world.
Abstract ideas don’t mean much when it comes to little ones. They need real life experiences that clarify those abstract ideas for them. As in little Johnny’s case, the most meaningful real-life experiences can be divided into 3 categories: those that involve a child’s body (kinaesthetic experience), his hands (handling 3-dimensional objects) and his eyes (looking at 2-dimensional images printed on paper).

In other words, the best way to teach the concept of the ‘number three’ to a 3 year old will be to play three kinds of games with him:

1) Get his body moving: “Let’s jump in the air THREE times. Now let’s count while we walk up these THREE steps: “One, Two, THREE!”

2) Let his hands handle 3D objects: “Let’s build a tower with THREE blocks.”

3) Get those eyes looking at 2D images: “Look at the DICE – how many dots do you count? One, Two, THREE! How many ducks are in this picture?”

Playing all of these kinds of games make all the difference.
In fact, this is the basis of much of the success of the Practica Program. Practica Parents will notice, as they read through the hundreds of activities listed for the various age groups in the Parents’ Guide that each and every one of the activities falls into one of the key three categories described above.

The beauty of the Practica Program is that all the work has been done for the parent and it’s handy to have all the specialised toys and printed material readily at hand.

Games that you can create yourself:
If you don’t own a Practica Program, there is no need to feel left out. It will take some time, but you can improvise and put together your own list of helpful activities.

Start off by selecting an age-appropriate concept that you’d like to introduce to your child. Then think of a game that involves body movement, another one that involves his hands, and another one that involves an image on a flat surface.

For example, say you’d like to introduce your child to the concept of a triangle:

Games in Category 1 (using body movement):
• Draw a large triangle with chalk on the pavement in your driveway, or use masking tape to tape a triangle onto the floor in your child’s room. Place a little toy at every corner and say, “Let’s walk on the triangle to get to the toys. Now let’s put all three the bears inside the triangle.”

• Get down on the floor and say, “Let’s see if you and I and your dad can use our bodies to lie down on the floor in the shape of a triangle!”

Games in Category 2 (hands handling 3D objects):
• Let’s use our fingers to make a triangle!”

• “I have placed cardboard shapes in a bag – put your hand in there and see if you can find me a triangle!”

Games in Category 3 (eyes looking at 2D images):
• “Let’s draw triangles on brown paper and then use it to wrap Daddy’s present. He loves triangles!”

• “Help me to use these match sticks to build lots of triangles on the coffee table.”

• “I’m busy drawing a row of houses on the blackboard. Let me show you how you can draw triangles to make a roof for each of them.”

Why go to all the trouble?
Many of us know what it feels like to work on an essay for weeks to get a mark of 60%, while the product that another child has whipped together in 30 minutes during break time ends up being published in the local newspaper!

And even more of us remember sitting in a Maths class, with hair rising in the back of our necks as we struggle to figure out which of whole series of mathematical rules should be applied to make some sense out of a question in a geometry test. And there was always that one kid who could give the sketch one look and immediately respond with a solution to the problem, almost instinctively. Well, that’s the kind of insight that we’re trying to develop in our children by introducing them to all kinds of concepts in a more creative and “real” way at an early age.

We want them to develop such a deeply ingrained understanding of the world around them at an early age that their understanding and insights will be almost sub-conscious by the time their old enough to make their mark in life! Almost like a golf player that practices his golf swing correctly from the start so that the ends up with the right ‘muscle-memory’ later on in his career.

We hope that this knowledge opens up a whole new world of possibilities for you and your child. It’s so much more rewarding to invest time and energy into doing things that really make a difference!

The Practica Team
Parents who know better… do better.

Comments? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Making the Most of Television

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Newsflash: If you are interested in the response to the last article, as well as questions from parents and corresponding answers from Lizette, please visit our 'parents say...' page.

In our last post we told the truth about the effect that television has on your young child (under 3 years) - if you missed it, go here. In this post, we want to equip parents with the tools they need to make the most of television when it comes to their older toddlers and children. We hope that it makes a difference in your life!

Switch if off when you're not actively watching
Parents often report that their children don't seem to be interested in television and they want to know if it's ok to have it on in the background while they go about their day?

Studies have confirmed that a television on the background is actually detrimental to one-on-one interaction between parent and child. These studies have found that parents say an average of 941 words when the television is off, but this drops to only 171 words when the television is on in the background (and not even being actively watched!). We did a post about this very subject, if you want to read it go here.

Obviously this does not bode well for language development and the precious 'sharing-time' that you have with your child. We cannot stress enough the impact that one-on-one time with your child has on language and intellectual development. This will become a dedicated post in and of itself in the near future. So when you're not actively watching a program, keep the television switched off.

Limit Viewing Time
Young children learn language (which is closely linked to intellectual development) through one-on-one conversations.  According to the Kaiser Family Foundation in the US, the average American family spends four hours watching television a day, but only 38.5 minutes engaged in meaningful conversation with their children.

The Daily Mail in the UK reported that by the age of five, when children there enter formal education systems, only about half of the children are able to speak properly. The other half struggle to string a sentence together and understand simple instructions. Experts point to modern-day parents no longer having conversations with their children, televisions being used as 'babysitters', and dinner-time being held in front of the television, as reasons for this lack of language acquisition (for a link to this article visit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-541012/Half-year-olds-speak-properly-start-primary-school.html)

Television is Only for Older Children
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television before the age of two and that children over the age of two be limited to one or two hours of screen time per day.

The rule of thumb is that your child needs to have and understand language first, before they are able to gain anything out of television. If your child is not actively talking, then television is not for them yet.

Repetition Leads to Recognition
Young children naturally do not know enough about the world, people or the meaning of words to gain anything from watching a program once. Instead, they need to see the same program (or DVD) over and over again in order to learn something from it. So treat television as you would a book that you read over and over again.

See the Television as a Book
Watching television with a young child in a way that facilitates learning is not going to be without effort. For a young child to benefit from watching television, the experience has to closely resemble reading a book.

Because of the way in which young children learn and process information, you need to talk to your child and deliberately help him to focus his attention. Otherwise, he'll spend large portions of the time staring mindlessly at the screen. You can, for example, pause a show at certain points and alert your child to watch for certain details such as actions, sound effects and visual images.

Keep an eye on your child's reactions and encourage him to talk about what is happening on the screen, to intentionally involve the language regions of his brain in the process.

You can also copy what the characters are doing and encourage him to do the same, for example, "Can you show me how scared the piggy was?", or "Let me hear how the wolf huffed and puffed!".

In the same way as reading a book, the aim is to enjoy language and discover new ideas as you enter into an imaginary world. You want to deepen your relationship with your child and build his brain by involving various regions of the brain in order to make sense of what he hears and sees.

Give Background Information
One of the best ways to nurture memory and language skills is when a parent and child talk about (or quote from) favourite books. Do the same thing by talking about a television show before and after viewing it. As you talk about main events and characters, you are guiding your child to view the experience from a whole new perspective - as if he is on the outside, looking in.

This is the start of developing an important skill called 'meta-cognition', which refers to the ability that all successful students have to 'think about how they think'.

Move and Learn
Hit the pause button and ask your child to physically stand up and go and point something out on the screen, like a bird or apple etc. Also, clap hands, sing and dance together to the music and songs on your shows.

Bring it Home
Little ones learn by using their bodies. Your child will learn more about the meaning of 'big' and 'small' if he actually touches and holds something that is big and then something that is small. Seeing it on the screen will not help unless you demonstrate new concepts in real life.
For example, if you watch a show and learn about the concept of a 'triangle', you can then teach your child how to make a triangle with his fingers or using matchsticks on the floor.

Find Out More
When your child shows an interest in something that he sees on television, whether it be a certain animal, cowboys, a food or activity, invite him to join you as you google the subject on the Internet or visit your local library and take out a book on the subject.

Read some of the newly found facts out loud and print out some pictures or get some posters to stick on his wall or in his scrapbook. This is a great way to instill a love of learning in your child and to teach him that learning is even more fun when he actively pursues it.

Eat Elsewhere
Eating in front of the television is the biggest conversation killer, and it's also been found that it increases obesity because it's easier to overeat when you're enthralled by a program on television.

Parents often also find that it is easier to feed their children while they're in front of a television, and that they'd often gulp down food they wouldn't ordinarily eat.

However, nutritionists warn that this is not a good way to get food into picky eaters, because they're not learning to accept new foods at all - they're simply mesmerised and don't notice what they're eating. Sneaking in a few mouthfuls of a new food while your baby watches television is not developing a healthy relationship with food.

There is no doubt that television can be used as a learning tool, but only if it's done correctly and with effort on the part of the parent. Again, nothing can take the place of one-on-one interaction, especially when it comes to your child's language and intellectual abilities.

By applying these tips, something that would otherwise dampen one-on-one time and rob your child's brain from growth opportunities, now becomes a tool for sharing, learning and making wonderful memories!

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

Comments? Email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

*Practica Parents: Many of the activities in the Parents Guide that are aimed at language and intellectual development using books and everyday situations, can be adapted easily to suit Constructive Television Time. Reading through the list of activities for your child's age-group will give you fresh and exciting ideas.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Television - The Great Thief

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I have been rather afraid of writing this post, because it is without a doubt going to be rather difficult for many parents to swallow. The important thing, however, is to tell the truth (no matter how ugly), because our philosophy at Practically Speaking is that "when we know better, we do better". So, stick with the post, to the very end, because this is an important truth.

We're talking about television - the advent of which has changed the world (and our families) as we know it. Almost every family has one at the center of their living room, throwing out colourful images and noise, day in and day out. I don't think there are many people in the modern world who do not have television-time as part of their everyday lives.

Television entertains, informs, shares and broadens our horizons - it certainly plays a critical role... for adults. It also mesmerises our children, and I am not above admitting that it's my "babysitter" when I need to get dinner ready in the evenings. I had even bought a whole stash of 'baby-appropriate' dvds that suggest my baby will become a 'genius' or 'einstein' through watching them.

Never before in parenting history has there been entire product ranges (and channels) available to make television-watching more 'appropriate' for children, as young as three months old. Surely, if I am letting my baby watch a dvd that was specifically designed for him, it's ok? Surely, television is as beneficial for our children as it is for us?

The simple and honest answer is "No". Television is not good for babies or young children at all. It doesn't matter what's on, even if it's a special dvd you spent your hard-earned money on. A whole series of scientific research projects confirms this for us. Sorry folks, that's the ugly truth.

What do the scientists say?

The University of Washington studied more than 1000 families and reported that for every hour that infants of 8 - 16 months watched dvds such as "Baby Einstein" and "Brainy Baby", they understood 6-8 fewer words than other babies who were not exposed to such dvds (Associations between Media Viewing and Language Development in Children under Age 2 years - The Journal of Pediatrics, V151, Issue 4, Pgs 364-368). Interestingly, Disney, who own Baby Einstein, is now offering refunds to disgruntled US parents.

A study from Seattle examined more than 2500 children younger than 36 months, and found that for every hour of television watched daily, the risk of attention problems at age seven increased nearly 10 percent. They were more likely to be confused, impulsive, restless or obsessive about things in their lives - the problems were similar to symptoms of ADHD. (Attention-Deficit Risk Linked to Young Kids' TV Time, Seattle Times, 5 April 2004)

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV before the age of two years and that children over two years be limited to one to two hours per day of educational material on TV. (Eh-Oh! Pediatricians Ban TV for Toddlers, David Burke www.whitedot.org)

In August 2009, France's broadcasting authority banned the airing of TV shows aimed at children under three, after French psychologists found that: "Television viewing hurts the development of children under three years old and poses a certain number of risks, encouraging passivity, slow language acquisition, over-excitedness, troubles with sleep and concentration, as well as dependence on screens."  (France Pulls Plug on TV Shows Aimed at Babies, CBC News, Wed Aug 20 2008)

Why does television have such a negative effect on children during the early years?

As adults, we can watch something on television and give it meaning - this is primarily because our brains are already wired. We have real life experiences behind us, we understand language and we have a frame of reference to draw from.

Young children, however, are especially vulnerable to the negative effects of television because a young child's brain is being wired at a rate of half a million brain cell connections per second...(The Baby Brain-Drain, The Times, 1 Nov 2007, Dr Miriam Stoppard). The experiences that your child is having is literally shaping his brain, and the more often he uses certain pathways, the more 'hardwired' those neural pathways become.

Young children simply stare at the rapidly changing scenes and take in the noises without any understanding whatsoever. We know this for a fact because scientists using Positron Imaging Technology can see inside a young child's brain when they're watching television. They have discovered that only the visual and listening areas of the child's brain is stimulated, while the areas of the brain used for communicating, learning, thinking, memorising, expressing personality and fine tuning social behaviour remain inactive and completely un-stimulated during television-time.

In stark contrast, when a parent reads to a child and plays various games with him, his brain lights up like a Christmas tree as links are rapidly formed between all the regions of the brain. For example, when you show your child a picture of a dog and explain how the dog jumps and barks, he has to use various parts of his brain to form a mental picture of this through his imagination - when he watches television, the work of understanding and imagining is literally stolen away from his young developing brain, and along with that, the brain development that could've taken place is also snatched away. This arguably makes television one of the greatest and most silent thieves in the modern child's world.

Reading and interacting with your child gives him language (scientific research proves that spoken language on TV is just 'white noise' for your child, without any meaning). In addition, when you're interacting with your child you can read his emotions and respond appropriately, giving a little more attention to an area he doesn't quite understand or laughing at the parts that he finds amusing (television cannot do this).

As adults, we often use television as a relaxation tool, 'spacing out' in front of our television sets after a stressful or busy day, and many adults find that it helps them to fall asleep. For young children, the rapidly changing scenes and noise is so mesmerising, it can actually be equated to 'baby crack cocaine'.

Watching television literally rewires a child's brain during the early years - the result is a child whose brain is so used to side-stepping the language and thinking areas that it becomes the default setting of that child's brain to react to information without understanding - not only when they're watching television, but in the real world as well.

The result is child who literally looks without 'seeing' and hears without 'listening'.

OK - so what if your child has already been exposed to large amounts of television?

As quoted by a writer for The Times, Dr Martin Ward-Platt believes, "of course, the thing that really makes a difference for a baby is interaction with a caregiver and there is nothing we can invent as a people substitute. But if a child watches some TV and is exposed to people for the rest of the time, they will do fine. What we don't know is where the limit is, where you start to hold children back."

In real life, if you have a strong immune system, your body can fight off small viral attacks, and if you exercise everyday you can indulge in that piece of chocolate cake without fear of putting on too much weight. Similarly, if your baby receives large amounts of loving one-on-one interaction and stimulation from the important people in her life, her brain will be more densely wired and therefore will be more resilient to the impact of short periods of television watching.

As a parent I didn't understand the effects of television on my young baby, and knowing what I know now, I will make wiser choices. If you enjoy some 'me-time' or a cup of coffee while your young child is watching television in the morning or evening, it is not the end of the world. As long as you don't for one second believe it is actually good for them in any way. Keep in mind that you need to ensure a healthy balance by giving your young child as much individual attention as possible, whenever you can. We literally have to counter-act the negative effects of television-viewing with the positive effects of large amounts of one-on-one interaction.

In our next post, we will give you tips on how to make wise television choices for your toddler (three years and older), so stay tuned!

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

Comments or Questions? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

*Practica Parents: It is quite interesting to discover that your child has different regions in the brain which control various skills and the more we exercise these skills, the more we are building highways between the various regions of brain - assisting them to 'talk' to each more effectively. You'll note that in the 2-6 year section of the Practica Parents Guide, each activity is followed by a list of the various areas in the brain that are involved - because effective 'communication' between these areas is key to overall brain coherence.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

The Brain-Heart Connection

Photography: Loren Stow
http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

In last week's post we discussed School Readiness (if you missed the post go here), and today we are delving a bit deeper into the practical steps you can take to ensure your child is as school-ready as possible.

Firstly, it is interesting to understand the physical make-up of your child's brain. According to Mike Bruton (whom we quoted last week as well) in his article "Smart Play", written for the Mail and Guardian (2 Aug 2010):

"The brain is a remarkable organ, widely considered to be the most complex system in the universe. It is soft, has no moving parts and is not sensitive to touch. It needs oxygen, glucose and physical exercise to function properly, is flushed by 35 litres of blood every hour, and uses about 20% of our body energy. It contains more than 10-billion neurons, has more than 1 000-billion-billion connections and sends and receives electro chemical messages through a 50 000km-long network of nerves."

This is amazing to think of, that this bundle of nerves, neurons and connections is in the process of being built in our children... And our interactions with them - the quality of experiences we gift them - directly affects the way in which their brains will develop.

As discussed last week, while it is fun to teach your child certain things (types of dinosaurs, makes of cars etc), it is far more productive to develop your child's ability to make sense of the world around them - this will enable them to process information given to them in a learning context such as school. The major difference is that it is relatively quick and easy to teach facts, but it takes time and shared experiences to 'switch on' processing skills.

These processing skills include gross motor, fine motor, sensory, visual, auditory, and language development, as well as thinking, reasoning, emotional and social skills. And while this might sound like quite a list, these areas can be worked mostly through one-on-one interaction and play with your child.

Lizette explains it as such, "Play with your children at home so that they can learn at school."

Everyday activities that stimulate these areas of development are simple and fun!

Reading to your child; music and singing songs; playing construction games; building and taking apart puzzles; physical activities like running, jumping, climbing, swinging, pushing, pulling etc; fantasy play; and creative activities like drawing and painting.

We understand that as parents, sometimes there simply isn't enough 'in the tank' to make the effort. It is easier to switch on Barney and make that cup of coffee that you so deserve. "Anyway... what difference does playing in the sandpit make at the end of the day..." you may ask yourself...

What we want to share is that it is important and it does make a difference. Playing the sand; making silly faces in a song; poking at bubbles in the air; wrestling in the grass; letting your child 'help' you pack away the groceries; making mud cakes and sharing giggles while you stare up at the clouds... this is the stuff that feeds a child's growing brain.

If the saying goes that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the way to a child's brain is through his heart.

So, we know that you're tired sometimes, and motivation is nowhere to be found. But simply taking that step, sitting down and pulling out the play-dough, will get the ball rolling and you will find it gets easier every day. Soon, it will be your escape from the maddening world - to experience life through your child's eyes.

Offering your children a wealth of experiences, sprinkled continuously and generously with love (to make it all stick), is not a waste of time, in fact it is the essential ingredient for nurturing school-readiness.

Now isn't that great news?

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The reality of the situation is that a parent who knows better, does better. This is one of the founding principles of the Practica Program -  the better we understand our children, the more we can draw from everyday opportunities as well as new and exciting research.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

School Readiness

Photography: Loren Stow
http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

 What do you think of when you hear the phrase 'School Readiness'? I know that in my mind I think of giving my child a head start, maybe trying to teach him how to read before school... maybe some counting too... the overwhelmed part of me also considers 'putting it off' until he's older and big enough to become, well... ready.

Many parents also leave it up to the preschool that their children attend. The reality however, is that the majority of children go to preschool, and yet a large percentage of them are not school ready by the time they need to enter formal schooling... 

So I know School Readiness can't be that simple, or that easy - there has to be more to it, I am sure of it.

According to Lizette, "School Readiness lays the foundation for future learning. The more school-ready your child is, the better his outcome later on in his schooling career."

It is a bit like planting a seed. The more you water the seed and dig compost into the soil around the seed, feeding it and giving it as many nutrients as possible, the bigger the root system will become and the taller the tree will grow. School Readiness is that root system - the bigger and denser the roots, the taller and wider the tree will be able to grow later on.

So what exactly is School Readiness? Well, it is something that can be measured, just like IQ and EQ - and it is basically a culmination of your child's emotional, physical and intellectual readiness to begin school.

School Readiness is not a line in the sand that you step over - now you're ready... No - it's measured on a continuum where one child can be twice as school-ready as another child of the same age. So your aim is not to simply get your child school-ready, but to get your child as school-ready as possible. You see the difference?

In parent's efforts to get their children school-ready, two myths exist that are just that - myths.

1. You need to Teach your child
Many parents confuse teaching their child with stimulating their child's latent skills. The job of a teacher is to teach, the job of a parent is to stimulate. As a parent, your job is to stimulate your child's brain to be able to process future information (learned at school) effectively.
Teaching a child facts such as the capital cities of the world or the different names of the planets in the solar system is simply a process of memory retention, but stimulating your child to think constructively, process information, solve problems, to be goal-oriented and so forth - that will help them when they need to apply themselves in a learning environment.

Interestingly according to an article written by Mike Bruton for the Mail and Guardian (2 Aug 2010) called "Smart Play", our brain tends to discard most of the information that reaches it and retains only what we need. "In fact, it has been calculated that our brains have a relatively small capacity for storing information (about 1.25 gigabytes), less than the average memory stick, and probably 60 times less than your laptop. But our brains have enormous processing power, far greater than any mainframe computer in existence."

In other words, if your child's brain is a tool-box, your job would be to not only ensure that he has all the tools he needs, but that those tools are sharp and ready for use.

2. Getting to school early is an advantage
Many well-intentioned parents believe that getting their child into school as early as possible will give them a head-start in life, enabling them to achieve more in less time... However, six or twelve months makes a huge difference in your child's ability to be school-ready.

The child who is as school-ready as possible is one who feels competent, and develops a life-long love of learning, which unlocks his ability to really excel to his full potential - in school and in life in general.

Alternatively, a child who is not school-ready and who is put into school anyway may be left feeling insecure, overwhelmed, and uncomfortable in a learning environment. This experience will most likely leave this child feeling frustrated, with his potential untapped.

In next week's Tuesday post, we will be focusing on how you can ensure you are giving your child the tools to become school-ready, so don't miss it!

If this post has given you a fright (like me) and you're all fired up to start getting your child school-ready, then I leave you with another interesting bit of information from Mike Burton's article on "Smart Play":

Professor Edgar Klugman, a leading authority in the field in the United States said: "Play is one of the most important areas of activity in which children engage as they grow up and develop. Play contributes positively to a child's ability to learn, interact and communicate with other children and develop abstract thinking skills . . . The vital life skill of being able to visualise future events is directly derived from the skills learned while playing as a child."

So that should give you a clue as to how to work on getting your child school-ready...

The good news?

School Readiness may not be what you initially thought it was, but in my mind it is even better. You don't need to be teacher to get your child prepared for the important step of starting school - you just have to be a mom or dad who are inspired to play. 

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: Obviously... this is what the Practica Program is all about! The program is about Big Picture Parenting, and the natural progression of your investment in the program and your child's future is to get them as school-ready as possible, and to be inspired to play.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

The Two Kinds of Tantrums

Photography: Loren Stow

What is a temper tantrum?

Some temper tantrums are violent storms of emotion which occur because your child's thinking-brain is not yet sufficiently developed (if you missed the post on amygdala hijacking, go here), while other tantrums are efforts by your child to manipulate a situation.  As parents we all feel helpless, frustrated and overwhelmed when our child throws a tantrum, but sometimes, the surge of emotions that your child goes through are also scary for him to experience.

Firstly, it is good to understand that temper tantrums are actually important experiences that aid in brain development - they are great opportunities to teach your child to develop the neural pathways in their brain that will enable them to manage stress when they're older.

Two different kinds of tantrums

As the post heading suggests, there are two different kinds of tantrums, each requiring their own specific reaction from you as a parent. Simply put, in the case of a Distress Tantrum you need to move towards your child and in the case of a Little-Nero Tantrum, you need to move away from your child.

When to respond softly and with understanding

The first type of tantrum - a distress tantrum - happens when your child's lower (emotional) brain is affected (as in the case of an amygdala hijacking). In this instance, your child has experienced a loss, frustration or disappointment so incredible to them that they cannot stop the emotions that erupt from them.

When your child has a distress tantrum, there are excessively high levels of stress chemicals racing through your child's body and brain. Your child is in genuine distress and as a parent you need to model for your child how to cope with these intense and scary feelings.

When your child has a distress tantrum, their ability to talk or listen is severely limited - their emotions literally take over. It is important to understand this because talking to (and trying to reason with) your child at this time is futile. You need to move towards your child, hold them, and soothe them. Your goal should be to meet their feelings of loss, frustration or disappointment with sympathy and understanding.

By doing this, you are developing your child's ability to regulate stress in his higher thinking-brain. If you hold your child, you are telling her that you are there for her. Speak softly, using simple words, and your child will begin to feel safe again as she realises that you can help her to understand and deal with these huge feelings she has.

Why a fixed approach is not advisable

If you adopt a single fixed approach to tantrums (walking away or time-out for example), you may loose an important opportunity to teach your child how to handle stress appropriately. In addition, imagine how reassuring it is for your child to know that mommy or daddy can understand these intense storms of emotion that rip through his body and brain. Alternatively, imagine how disturbing it is, when your child is having a genuine distress tantrum, for you to walk away from him... you would never walk away from a friend in true distress, so why would you walk away from your child?

The best way to handle a distress tantrum is to use simple and calm actions, try to distract your child with something interesting (this often helps to reactivate the thinking-brain), hold your child with tenderness, avoid using the time-out technique or sending your child to their room alone, and keep reminding yourself that your child's distress is very real for them.

When a tantrum is unacceptable

On the flip-side of the coin, a Little-Nero Tantrum is the complete opposite. Where a distress tantrum activates your child's emotional center and shuts down the thinking-brain, a little-nero tantrum occurs in your child's thinking-brain. This tantrum is about manipulation - which takes lots of thought.

A Little-Nero Tantrum is about getting what they want through bullying or manipulation - the point of this tantrum is to get a desired response. But how can you tell the two tantrums apart? A Little-Nero Tantrum often has a lack of tears and your child will be able to articulate exactly what they want(remember that with a distress tantrum, your child isn't even able to speak coherently).

Little-Nero Tantrums that are not handled correctly may teach a child to become a bully - a child that believes that they can get their own way all the time. The way in which you handle this tantrum is very different - firstly, if you are certain your child is not having a distress tantrum, walk away. When no one is watching, there is very little point of having a manipulative tantrum! Don't try to reason, argue with or persuade your child, and don't try to negotiate. Be firm and also remind them of the more socially acceptable ways to get the result they want. Use your own method of discipline in this case. But whichever way you choose - be consistent and stand your ground.

When the tantrums spill over into each other

It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between the two types of tantrums and sometimes one tips over into another - a little-nero tantrum can become a distress tantrum. For example, when your child is verbally demanding a sweet and your 'no' is so disappointing that they have a powerful surge of emotions that tips them over into a distress tantrum. 

If you sense genuine pain in your child's tantrum and know that it isn't an act, you need to help her with her feelings. As a parent, your child needs to know that you will not give into demands, but that you are there for them when they are in genuine pain.  All children are programmed to react with intense emotions if they do not get their anticipated reward, especially because their thinking-brain is not yet properly wired.

Common triggers for tantrums

It is also a good idea to recognise 'triggers' for tantrums in your environment. In addition to tiredness and hunger, boredom and under-stimulation is an important trigger for tantrums - have you noticed how your child has fewer tantrums when they're engaged in something interesting? Frustration and disappointment are also two key triggers for tantrums, and coping with these feelings is one of the things that parents need to teach their children.

Dealing with tantrums are not easy - but if you can learn to differentiate between the two different kinds of tantrums and respond to each kind by 'moving towards' or 'moving away' from your child when appropriate - you will start to see results.

The important point to remember once again is that as a parent you should not give into demands, but you should offer yourself in times of great pain and anguish.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: It's much easier to comfort rather than to discipline a child, because there are so many different methods of discipline. At the Practica Advisory Service, we advise parents to choose their method of discipline with two important considerations in mind: the method that you use should be one that you will be able to use consistently under pressure, and it should also be one that helps you to stay calm and in control of your emotions during the process.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za 

Amygdala Hijacking



Image from EQtoday.com


"Amyg... what?" I hear myself say as Lizette suggests this post... But this has turned out to be one of the most interesting topics I've written about so far.

Imagine you're in the traffic... you've had a particularly bad day so far, and nothing is quite going your way. Just as you're about to get your turn to go through the intersection, after waiting at the traffic light for what seems to be hours, someone cuts you off and takes your spot. 
You. could. kill.
The rush of emotions - pure rage - seem to take over your entire body, threatening to implode if you don't do something. You shout. You hoot. You hit your steering wheel.  And long after that driver has disappeared, you are still angry, feeling emotional and on high alert for any other person who thinks they can cut you off...

Sound familiar? Hmmm... do I hear a 'yes'?

Well, simply put folks, that's an Amygdala Hijacking - and countless adults (and toddlers) have experienced this.

To understand how an Amygdala Hijacking works, we must first explain how your brain works.

An adult brain (which is very different from a child's brain) works by receiving information through the senses. This information goes via the brain's switchboard (the thalamus) to the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala) and the thinking part of the brain (the neo-cortex) simultaneously. Both parts of your brain process the information and then decide on a reaction - but for the most part (and on good days...) it is usually your 'thinking-brain' that calls the shots.

For example, you visit the zoo and spot a lion. The emotional center of your brain sees the lion and sets off an alarm, but your thinking-brain reminds you that you're at a zoo and that the lion can't get to you, so you're safe. Your thinking-brain has the metaphoric 'pin code' to deactivate the alarm that your emotional brain sets off, commonly known as the 'fight or flight' response.

Remember that the emotional center of your brain is really just a reactive piece of engineering - one that is not logical. Rather it is very important and useful in times of severe stress and pressure, as well as a host of other functions - but logic? No...

Sometimes though... your emotions hijack your brain, whether it be because your day has been terrible, you are not feeling well, or something triggers off an emotion that you didn't remember even existed... for whatever reason, your thinking-brain does not have enough time offer a 'pin code' and your emotional brain just takes over. This... is an amygdala hijacking.

Other examples of amygdala hijackings are when we tell off our boss, when we write that foul email and hit 'send', when we scream at the cashier, and basically - when we are so emotional that we behave terribly, and regret it later, once we are able to 'think clearly' again. In other words, we come to regret our actions once our thinking-brain has taken over again.

When the emotional center of your brain - your amygdala - is hijacked, you are literally not able to think straight. Your thinking-brain is side-stepped and you're running on pure emotions with not a logical thought in sight...

Studies have found that you're in this state of amygdala hijacking for a total of 18 minutes. For this time you are highly illogical, emotional, and basically in 'fight mode'. You are not able to think reasonably for these 18 minutes.  When this passes, you still have the 'fight or flight' hormones racing through your body for another 3-4 hours, during which time you'll still be rather defensive, sensitive and prone to emotional reactions.

So why are we talking about amygdala hijacking today? Well, we wanted to introduce the concept to you as a parent so that you would be able to understand your child's amygdala hijacking (commonly referred to as a tantrum) much better...

As adults, we have the luxury of our thinking-brain's assistance for the most part, but what about our little ones, whose neo-cortex's are still in development? They experience everything exclusively through the emotional center of their brains until the age of three, when the neo-cortex has been wired to the point that it can start to lend a helping hand.

This means that everything a child sees, hears, touches, smells, tastes, or learns is emotionally-laden - figuratively dripping with emotion... This is why babies learn much better when emotions (like love) are involved, but it is also why they are prone to emotional outbursts. They have no 'pin-code' - they just have raw emotion (at least until the age of three).

Now, can you better understand why your child can be so emotional, self-centered, reactive and sensitive? It is because their amygdala is running the show... Their thinking-brain is still being wired and isn't of much use - which is why it is important for parents to help wire the logical part of their children's brain and patiently teach their children the self control they so desperately need.

We can create the ideal environment to foster self-control skills by modeling self-restraint, by ensuring that our children's day-to-day environment is not over-bearing, and by creating routines that give them feelings of security and predictability.

But, as we've seen, not only children have amygdala hijackings... As parents, we have bad days. As parents we also have to deal with highly emotional little ones, having their share of amygdala hijackings throughout the day, every day... It can be tough to cope sometimes.

The good news?

Firstly - as a parent you now have a better understanding of your child's world and can relate to them when they are having a tantrum. This understanding fosters much needed patience.

Secondly - studies in adults reveal that simply an awareness that you are having an amygdala hijacking is enough to give you the ability to deal with it appropriately. Just acknowledging it, gives your thinking-brain the heads-up and enables it to use the 'pin code' to deactivate that emotional outburst. You know you have 18 minutes to calm down (before you hoot, swear or send that email...) and a further 3-4 hours of being a little more sensitive. So you can remove yourself from the situation, and take a few deep breaths.  Remember to be gentle with yourself and your loved ones in this time and avoid indulging in behaviour that you'll probably regret later.

Now isn't that great news?

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The very nature of the Practica Program is to create the structure, order and predictability that your child craves and needs for optimal development. The Program offers a wide variety of activities that may seem overwhelming to time-strapped parents who try to do everything - but this variety is only there to offer choice and it's not intended to be a fixed curriculum. Remember, however, that no one is more central in your child's life than you are and that no one can take your place. So relax and focus on using the Practica Program in your unique situation to make the most of the time that you DO spend with your child.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za