A Smorgasbord of Food Tips

While some children are absolute dreams when it comes to mealtimes, roughly 50% of all children 'eat too little', their parents believe. And this is according to Dr Christopher Green, from his book called Toddler Taming, A Parents' Guide to the First Four Years (Random House).

Below we introduce ideas from two books about feeding a fussy eater - some of them overlap and they are intended for you to take and use in your unique situation with your toddler:

Toddler Taming (Dr Christopher Green, Random House):

1. Avoid disorganised, disturbed, noisy mealtimes - your toddler should sit and eat with the rest of the family, but if this is impractical, a parent should sit next to the child and feed her before the main family meal.

2. Your toddler should ideally be given a variety of well-balanced foods - however, if she dislikes variety, then a repetitive but nutritious diet is perfectly acceptable. After all, she's the one who has to eat it, not you.

3. Adult eating habits should be encouraged - but it is no disaster if your child decides to return to the main course after having polished off her pudding.

4. Use labour-saving cooking ideas - because it is hard to stay calm when your wilful toddler refuses a dish that has taken hours to prepare.

5. Gently encourage a child to eat - NEVER force.

6. Once it is obvious that the child is not going to eat any more, wipe her hands and face clean and allow her to get down from the table - whether this is after five minutes or half an hour, don't worry about it. If your child is dawdling over her food, leave her to dawdle without an audience after a reasonable amount of time has elapsed.

7. Display no anger if food is not eaten - put the untouched plate in the fridge and bring it out later on request. If your child refuses a meal, she must not be allowed to top up on milk, chips and the like.


Babies and Toddlers, How to survive them (Jane-Anne Hobbs, Zebra Press)

1. Work out what your responsibility is - provide your toddler with a variety of healthy foods, set times for mealtimes and snacks, and lay down guidelines about table manners. What she eats from the nutritious variety you present to her, and how much she eats, is up to her.

2. Be assured your toddler will not starve - when she becomes hungry enough, she will eat, and she'll eat exactly what and how much she needs - as long as she's not tempted by unhealthy options.

3. Acknowledge your toddler's right to be picky - it is important to respect your child's wishes. She is perfectly entitled to her own likes and dislikes. The challenge is to accept preferences and find ways of working around them.

4. Remember, your toddler has her own internal pressures - no child is born without an appetite. Your child's food desires are driven by her appetite; when she needs to eat, she will.

5. Don't coerce your toddler - the 'clean plate' policy is something from the past. Don't ever force your child to finish what is on her plate. Try taking the pressure off completely, and see if she abandons her hunger strike.

6. Accept that your toddler might not be hungry - if she's been snacking all day for some or other reason, it's only natural that she might not be hungry.

7. Cut down on milk and juice - your child's tummy may be full and she may not even register hunger pangs. Consider limiting milk and juice to a safe intake and her appetite might improve dramatically!

8. Ask yourself if your toddler's really suffering - if your child is not underweight for her age, if she has tons of energy and is having regular bowel movements, there is very little chance that she's not getting the nourishment she needs.

9. Try to make food fun - even the most reluctant eater can be lured with interestingly presented food, or even a picnic in the garden instead of lunch at the table!

We hope that these collection of tips at least gives you a point from which to start addressing your child's eating habits. You may even find that your child is completely 'normal' and you were actually holding unrealistic expectations.

The good news is that food-fights need not be part of your daily routine!

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

Comments? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

The Four Keys to Ending Food Wars

Photography: Loren Stow
http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

We've all been there... the day that our once-compliant and well-fed baby turns her nose up at meal-time, followed by a clear and concise 'no!'. She shakes her head and just plainly refuses a meal that mere days ago she gobbled down with delight! And before you know it, she's surviving on a diet of cheese curls and banana - refusing any other food-related material that tries to pass her lips...

How did this happen? And why? And... most importantly... will it ever end?

Firstly, let us start by saying that your toddler is not the first, nor will she be the last, to baffle a parent at possibly every mealtime for months on end...

The reason for this is because the first year of life is one of tremendous growth, where a baby can triple its birth weight. Yes - that is some serious growing, and nutrition is very important to support this growth. However, from gaining around 6kgs in the first year, your toddler will only gain around 1-2kgs in her second year. Therefore, she doesn't need as much food as she once did.

This reduction in appetite, coupled with a complete lack of a social understanding of food, creates a toddler who often is not hungry and doesn't want to eat at mealtimes. Your toddler simply does not understand that breakfast time means sitting down to eat - unlike adults who will often eat at prescribed mealtimes (whether or not they are hungry), because we have a strong social understanding of eating (which our toddlers have yet to learn).

Now, there is little you can do to increase a toddler's appetite, but there are certain key points to remember to make it easier to coax your little one into eating at mealtimes. This is important to try to achieve, as you are laying the foundation of your toddler's social and emotional connections to food during the second year of life.

1. Don't fall back on a bottle of milk...

The most important key to remember is that your toddler must be hungry enough to want to eat. So, cast your mind as to what you are feeding your toddler and when. Then ask yourself if your toddler is simply not hungry enough to try that balanced meal you worked so hard to prepare?

One of the biggest culprits in keeping toddlers' tummies full is too much milk. According to Ann Richardson (author of Toddlersense), your toddler needs only about 400mls of normal milk per day, and this includes sources such as yogurt and cheese as well. Ann suggests two bottles per day only - one in the early morning and one at night before bed.

Many parents decide to give their toddler a bottle of milk when they've skipped a meal in order to ensure that they're getting enough 'goodness' into them... However, this is only serving to fill your toddler's tummy and make her even less likely to try to eat at mealtimes.

On the contrary, it is in her best interest to make sure that she is hungry enough to want to explore new tastes and textures at mealtime - or else your toddler might get stuck at eating only a limited number of foods for many years to come!

2. Don't overlook those empty calories...

The second culprit is feeding your toddler empty calories - such as cheese curls, biscuits and the like.  Because these snacks taste good, a toddler will almost 'inhale' them in a gleeful mini-binge... however, these foods are once again taking up valuable tummy-space and are leaving your toddler with a feeling of being full. And... come meal-time... your toddler isn't hungry enough to eat.

Don't skip the snacks altogether, since there is much research that supports six small meals a day in order to keep your blood sugar levels constant. However, make these healthy snacks and time them so that they are not too close to meal-times.


3. Just relax...

Often, when a toddler doesn't eat they're greeted with Mom making airplane noises as the food 'flies' into their mouths, while Dad is dancing and singing a tune - all in an effort to get her to eat... Naturally, this is entertaining and your little one will want more, and she knows that to make this happen again, all she has to do is refuse to eat...

In short, when your toddler refuses to eat, don't make a big fuss. Try simply removing the plate and telling her, "Don't worry honey, you don't have to eat. When you're hungry, you tell Mommy," at which point you can offer the food she refused earlier. No fuss, no pleading, no amazing entertainment show...


4. Set the tone...

During the second and third years of life, your toddler is closely studying the key people in her life for their responses to their environment. In that way she learns a great deal about the world around her, including what is desirable and what is not desirable. Toddlers are not called 'little sponges' for nothing.

Because of this, it is important to model for your child how much you enjoy eating healthy, good food. Use facial expressions and words to show them how much you enjoy eating, and why not put an apple up as a reward for being good instead of a chocolate? 

Conversely, if you have a dislike for a certain food (for me, it's peanut butter), don't pass this onto your children. I ensure that I offer my children foods that I don't necessarily like, because they might like them one day!

It may seem obvious now, but let's recap:

Toddlers are no longer as hungry as they once were because they are simply not growing as fast as they did when they were babies. Toddlers have no social or emotional concept of food, so they still have to learn why they need to eat at certain times. As parents, it is our role to introduce our toddlers to the social, nurturing and comforting value of good food, but it is often difficult, especially when we don't allow them to become hungry enough to want to eat. If we never allow our toddlers to associate hunger with the relief of eating nutritious food, they will most likely continue to refuse food at mealtimes.

So, become a 'food detective' and figure out if you're often n allowing your toddler to become hungry enough to be motivated to enjoy good food and experiment with new tastes at mealtimes. A child will never starve itself, although many will embark on 'hunger strikes' that will send a parent into an emotional and mental tizz... But hold steadfast, and at least allow your toddler to opportunity to feel a bit hungry at times, as well as the awesome satisfaction that good food brings afterwards.

These tips may not completely fix the frustrations and fears that parents face at mealtimes with a toddler, because toddlers are toddlers after all! However, they may go a long way towards making it a little easier to deal with this common stage in development.

Good luck!

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

Comments? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

A great tip for dealing with BIG change!



Example of a page from a personalised book
Design by Loren Stow

 When you know your child is going to experience a big change, such as starting a new school, moving house, or the arrival of a new sibling, there is a creative and effective idea that has worked well for many moms and dads. Its basically a parent-led visualisation exercise for young children which helps our little ones to ‘make pictures in their minds-eye’ that works for them!

Create a book for your child, filled with real photographs and words that are applicable to the change they are experiencing. In this way, you can ‘paint a picture’ for your child of their world – and, when they recognise this ‘picture’ in their real life, they are filled with an immense security and feelings of everything being ‘just right’ in their world.

How to create the book:
(You can apply the ideas below to any major event)


New School:


Take photographs of your child during his school day. The pictures should include activities (in sandpit, on the swing, building blocks, dancing to the music etc.), people (teacher, headmaster, assistants, friends etc.), and things (the classroom, the bathroom, their school bag, their lunchbox etc).

Using your computer, make pages where you have the picture and a ‘story’ beneath each. For example, “Here is Johnny in the sandpit, playing with his friends,” and “This is Miss Henderson, Johnny’s teacher” etc.

Print the pages and slip them into a flip file.

New Sibling:
(Here it is important to stress your child’s place in the home and family)

Take photographs of your child’s routine and home life, including (as above) activities (bath time, bedtime, mealtime, playtime), people (mommy, daddy, nanny, the pets etc), and things (bed, bath, blanket, favourite toy etc).

Again, put a short ‘story’ under each picture and print the pages to be inserted into a flip file.

You can now read your special book over and over again, giving your child a certainty of how everything is ‘as it should be’ in his world. By repeating the story again and again, you are guiding your child in understanding his world and creating a sense of predictability and the security that goes along with that.

Tips to focus on when creating your child’s book:


• Routines and sequences of events (including small details such as picking up toys after play time, getting into pyjamas after bath time etc.).


• Specific places where things happen (such as mealtimes, playtime etc).


• Objects that are used.


• Try to have your child in the pictures (it is about him after all).


• Ensure that the book is realistic (don’t paint a picture that is far from the truth, because then it will just be confusing. Stay as close to reality as possible...)

Beyond the practical and emotional benefit of giving your child their very own personalised book, you are also creating a life-long memory for your child and a great gift for grandparents! You can ‘up the ante’ and even try your hand at digital scrapbooking, creating not just a book, but a colourful work of art that will catch your little one’s eye and will be treasured forever.

There are many free digital scrapbooking downloads available on the internet (try http://www.shabbyprincess.com/), and so this does not have to cost a fortune at all. Just a bit of time (which is very precious, we know...) and some creative inspiration is all that is needed!

Why not give it a try? Your child will find it easier to deal with big changes in his world, you will get to create something truly special, and the result will document your child’s special world for a lifetime.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

Comments? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

*If you are interested in doing a book for your child, but don't have the time, email Loren to get a quote on designing your child's unique book for you - info@lorenstow.co.za

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Maintaining a Sense of Routine in the Holidays

Image: Loren Stow
http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

The holidays are a time when we have all the time in the world (for a week or two) to spend with our families. Sometimes we go on holiday, other times we stay at home, and other times we invite family to stay with us... Holidays are treasured by most as an opportunity to recharge, enjoy their family and have fun experiences.
Whatever your plans this holiday, it is a given is that your normal routine will most likely be affected in some way. Children are home from school and creche, carers and nanny's are also away on their own vacations, there may be day-trips, weeks away, and a whole lot of busy-ness...

Just how important are routines and can you ensure that they are nurtured? 

For young children, routines are incredibly important. They create feelings of safety and being grounded in an ever-changing world (even more relevant when holidays roll around and their day-to-day life changes completely for a few weeks). In addition, young children actually look forward to their routines and enjoy them immensely.

So, how can you ensure that your children don't feel lost or insecure at a time when routines may be difficult or just plain impossible to follow?

The good news is that routines are not as 'time-based' or 'location-based' as parents think - as adults we usually relate the word 'routine' to a time-table and a certain place. While being three hours late for lunch or expecting our children to eat their lunch in the car would be a bit of push... doing lunch 30 minutes early or late, at a Wimpy en route to your holiday at the sea doesn't have to stray too far from the routine at all... 

You see, this is because children do not see routine as a time-table. They see routine as the sequence of activities before, during and after an event. If you wash hands and say grace before every meal, talk about your favourite part of the day during the meal, and then wait for everyone to be finished with the meal before you clear the table, then this is the sequence of events that need to be applied at closely as possible no matter where you are.

The idea is that simply because you are in another location, or you're not perfectly 'on-time', does not mean that you cannot still apply the sequence of events that creates a sense of routine for your child.

Another example is if you usually read the same bedtime story every night and then blow out a candle just before saying good night - when you pack for a holiday away remember to take the book and candle with you, so that you can continue with the routine no matter where you are and even if your little one stays up a little past bedtime.

If you have overnight guests or are entertaining, you may need to shorten the individual steps (read one book instead of three at bedtime). You can also involve other family members, like grandparents, who are willing to help and want to deepen their relationship with your little one. Give them what they need and a little run-down of what needs to be done. You never know, your little one might be thrilled by this! The important thing is to stick to the basic routine.

So, in order to ensure that you keep your little one's routines going strong, take the time to look at their day and note the special sequences around events such as waking time, eating time, play time, bath time and bedtime.  What is the pattern that you follow and are there any special props (such as a special towel, a bowl and spoon, a candle or book)? Make sure you make space for these things in your child's day, no matter where you are and what you're doing.

On the topic of routines, we thought we would share some special routine ideas that we've come across, that perhaps you apply in your little one's life...

Bedtime
A Practica Parent shared how he sends his little one off to dreamland every night, simply using a plastic glass with a glitter detail. He switches off the light and puts a torch under the glass, illuminating all the wonderful glitter. His daughter takes a sip of the 'magic water' just before going to sleep to help her off to wonderland...

Early Morning
Why not have a 'rise and shine' song that you sing with your little one just before getting out of bed. This song signals the start of a wonderful new day.  "Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work we go..."

Cleaning Up
Using the magic of song again, why not sing while you pack away toys? "This is the way we pack our toys, pack our toys, pack our toys... this is the way we pack our toys, every single night..."

Welcome Home
When transitioning from a day out back to being at home, why not have a routine where everyone gets a drink and sits down to relax and unwind for five minutes before getting busy with the next thing on the list?

Meal Time
Setting the table (whether alone or just assisting) is a great way to incorporate routine in mealtimes. Another routine, as mentioned above, is washing hands, saying grace and sharing stories during meal time.

Hygiene
It's sometimes difficult for children to know how long to brush their teeth for, so you could use an egg timer or even sing a song, and your children know to brush their teeth for this whole time before rinsing. At bath time, my children choose which toys they want to play with in the bath - they have a basket filled with toys and throw their favourites in the running water with much 'hoopla' and joy!

Leaving Routine
It's often difficult for little ones to transition between activities, like shopping, visiting a friend, being on the beach or watching television. It helps immensely to have a routine where you ask your child to say goodbye and wave. In this way they understand that they are finishing with one thing and moving to the next.

Holiday Routine
Lizette describes how, as a preschooler, on family holidays to the beach, her father would always rinse her feet of all the sand under the tap and then carry her back to their cottage - to this day she remembers how that felt and that she looked forward to that little routine almost as much as playing in the sand and sea. Why not create a little everyday routine that is especially for your holiday?

Back to School
For older children, it may help them to feel excited about returning to school if you try to remember all their classmate's names and think of one positive sentence about each one. This shows that you care about their world at school and that they have something to look forward to after every holiday.

We hope that your family's holiday is safe and filled with love and that you find a way to maintain (or even introduce new) routines in your little one's life. These routines cannot be underestimated for their value in creating security, fostering excitement and building long-lasting memories.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

Comment or a special routine you'd like to share? Email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za