Setting S.M.A.R.T Goals as Parents

“When we are motivated by goals that have a deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live.” 
- Greg Anderson

Most parents feel like this about parenting. However, their commitment to their children can easily turn into a pitfall. It is easy to become over-emotional and this makes it difficult to act strategically and objectively.

Instead of trying to tone down your emotions, you may want to try setting S.M.A.R.T goals whenever you reach the point where you need to take a step back and become more practical in your approach.

S.M.A.R.T. goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. 

Let’s look at an example of a S.M.A.R.T goal:

“I want my child to be more popular within the next 6 months. In order to achieve this, I will ask his teacher to recommend two friends. I will then arrange one play date every weekend and involve my child in the planning.” 

Specific – A general goal would be, “I want my child to feel better about himself.” Our example, however, is more specific because it involves a plan of action. According to Marc Shernoff, author of 1000 Little Things Happy People Do Differently, a specific goal has a far greater chance of being accomplished because it has defined parameters and constraints.

Measurable – Our example is measurable and practical. To determine if a goal is measurable, ask yourself questions like: How much time? How many total? How will I know when the goal is accomplished? etc. 

Attainable – To be attainable, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. In other words, the goal must be realistic.

Relevant – Relevance stresses the importance of choosing goals that matter. For example, a parent who knows that a child feels loved when spending quality time will be wise to invest in spending special time together rather than spending energy on choosing the perfect gift.

Timely – A goal must be grounded within a time frame, giving the goal a target date. A commitment to a deadline helps you focus your efforts on the completion of the goal on or before the due date. 

It is interesting that many people, who are otherwise excellent planners and leaders, seem to forget all they have learnt when they deal with their own children, as if their logical abilities are overshadowed by deep concern. 

Let’s think S.M.A.R.T from now on!

When we know better... we do better

Adapting to a new school or nanny

Is your child struggling to adapt to a new caregiver?  

Here’s good news: pictures are powerful and there’s a way to make them work for you.

A recent study at McGill University (see link below) has once again proven the power of visualization when a group of students radically increased the amount of fruit they consumed within 7 days after imagining themselves making the right choices.

According to Diane Petrella, a specialist in this field, visualization is the process of deliberately using your imagination to create a mental model in your mind. “The mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so when you visualize your subconscious encodes this new picture as if it actually happened.”

Although young children are not yet able to form mental pictures of themselves or situations in their minds eye, the potency of visualization is not lost for them. The trick is to physically provide your child with pictures of a particular situation along with a description of the positive emotions and actions that you would like your child to associate with that particular setting.

What you will need

·      A camera

·      Access to a printer

·      An empty photo album or scrapbook

Do the following

• Take photos of your child’s new school. Focus on different “stations of activity” for instance, where he stores his backpack for the day, the toilets (it is important to take an actual photo of the toilet), the carpet where he listens to stories, the chair and table he sits at when doing activities, the playground outside, any “make believe” stations that catch your eye (like a shop corner or hospital scene), and reading corner. 

• Make sure to include at least one picture of his caregiver.  If you can manage to take a happy photograph of the two of them together, that’s good, otherwise a photo of her alone is perfect. Remember to keep the photos positive and happy! If other children feature in the photos, ask them to smile and wave as you take the picture.

• Place the photographs in an album or book. Write a caption under each photo. Make sure to include POSITIVE EMOTIONS and ACTIONS when writing the caption. Instead of simply saying “This is Miss Sonya” or “This is the reading corner” write something like:

“This is Miss Sonya. Miss Sonya loves Megan. Whenever Megan needs help or feels alone, she goes to Miss Sonya. Miss Sonya thinks Megan is a very special girl!”

or

“This is the reading corner. Megan loves to page through books in the reading corner. There are many books with many interesting pictures in the reading corner at Megan’s new school.”

·   Read the album together as a “story” every night. Point to the pictures and ask questions as you would if you were reading a typical storybook. The more often you read the story, the better.

Same environment, new caregiver?

If the environment has NOT changed but the CAREGIVER is NEW, as in the case of a new teacher at school or a new nanny joining the family, do the following:

·   Still take photos of the various “stations of activity” as before, but now place the new person into each of the familiar settings. In other words, let the teacher stand next to the swing or by the toilet when you take a photo of the playground and the bathroom.

The idea is to bring the new person into the familiar setting and making her part of your child’s everyday story.

Did you know? Good news! Practica has started a Facebook page and it’s great fun! If you have a Facebook profile, go to www.facebook.com/practicaprogram and click on LIKE. You will then automatically see our daily tips and little tidbits on weekdays.

“Parents who know better . . . do better . . .”