Amygdala Hijacking



Image from EQtoday.com


"Amyg... what?" I hear myself say as Lizette suggests this post... But this has turned out to be one of the most interesting topics I've written about so far.

Imagine you're in the traffic... you've had a particularly bad day so far, and nothing is quite going your way. Just as you're about to get your turn to go through the intersection, after waiting at the traffic light for what seems to be hours, someone cuts you off and takes your spot. 
You. could. kill.
The rush of emotions - pure rage - seem to take over your entire body, threatening to implode if you don't do something. You shout. You hoot. You hit your steering wheel.  And long after that driver has disappeared, you are still angry, feeling emotional and on high alert for any other person who thinks they can cut you off...

Sound familiar? Hmmm... do I hear a 'yes'?

Well, simply put folks, that's an Amygdala Hijacking - and countless adults (and toddlers) have experienced this.

To understand how an Amygdala Hijacking works, we must first explain how your brain works.

An adult brain (which is very different from a child's brain) works by receiving information through the senses. This information goes via the brain's switchboard (the thalamus) to the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala) and the thinking part of the brain (the neo-cortex) simultaneously. Both parts of your brain process the information and then decide on a reaction - but for the most part (and on good days...) it is usually your 'thinking-brain' that calls the shots.

For example, you visit the zoo and spot a lion. The emotional center of your brain sees the lion and sets off an alarm, but your thinking-brain reminds you that you're at a zoo and that the lion can't get to you, so you're safe. Your thinking-brain has the metaphoric 'pin code' to deactivate the alarm that your emotional brain sets off, commonly known as the 'fight or flight' response.

Remember that the emotional center of your brain is really just a reactive piece of engineering - one that is not logical. Rather it is very important and useful in times of severe stress and pressure, as well as a host of other functions - but logic? No...

Sometimes though... your emotions hijack your brain, whether it be because your day has been terrible, you are not feeling well, or something triggers off an emotion that you didn't remember even existed... for whatever reason, your thinking-brain does not have enough time offer a 'pin code' and your emotional brain just takes over. This... is an amygdala hijacking.

Other examples of amygdala hijackings are when we tell off our boss, when we write that foul email and hit 'send', when we scream at the cashier, and basically - when we are so emotional that we behave terribly, and regret it later, once we are able to 'think clearly' again. In other words, we come to regret our actions once our thinking-brain has taken over again.

When the emotional center of your brain - your amygdala - is hijacked, you are literally not able to think straight. Your thinking-brain is side-stepped and you're running on pure emotions with not a logical thought in sight...

Studies have found that you're in this state of amygdala hijacking for a total of 18 minutes. For this time you are highly illogical, emotional, and basically in 'fight mode'. You are not able to think reasonably for these 18 minutes.  When this passes, you still have the 'fight or flight' hormones racing through your body for another 3-4 hours, during which time you'll still be rather defensive, sensitive and prone to emotional reactions.

So why are we talking about amygdala hijacking today? Well, we wanted to introduce the concept to you as a parent so that you would be able to understand your child's amygdala hijacking (commonly referred to as a tantrum) much better...

As adults, we have the luxury of our thinking-brain's assistance for the most part, but what about our little ones, whose neo-cortex's are still in development? They experience everything exclusively through the emotional center of their brains until the age of three, when the neo-cortex has been wired to the point that it can start to lend a helping hand.

This means that everything a child sees, hears, touches, smells, tastes, or learns is emotionally-laden - figuratively dripping with emotion... This is why babies learn much better when emotions (like love) are involved, but it is also why they are prone to emotional outbursts. They have no 'pin-code' - they just have raw emotion (at least until the age of three).

Now, can you better understand why your child can be so emotional, self-centered, reactive and sensitive? It is because their amygdala is running the show... Their thinking-brain is still being wired and isn't of much use - which is why it is important for parents to help wire the logical part of their children's brain and patiently teach their children the self control they so desperately need.

We can create the ideal environment to foster self-control skills by modeling self-restraint, by ensuring that our children's day-to-day environment is not over-bearing, and by creating routines that give them feelings of security and predictability.

But, as we've seen, not only children have amygdala hijackings... As parents, we have bad days. As parents we also have to deal with highly emotional little ones, having their share of amygdala hijackings throughout the day, every day... It can be tough to cope sometimes.

The good news?

Firstly - as a parent you now have a better understanding of your child's world and can relate to them when they are having a tantrum. This understanding fosters much needed patience.

Secondly - studies in adults reveal that simply an awareness that you are having an amygdala hijacking is enough to give you the ability to deal with it appropriately. Just acknowledging it, gives your thinking-brain the heads-up and enables it to use the 'pin code' to deactivate that emotional outburst. You know you have 18 minutes to calm down (before you hoot, swear or send that email...) and a further 3-4 hours of being a little more sensitive. So you can remove yourself from the situation, and take a few deep breaths.  Remember to be gentle with yourself and your loved ones in this time and avoid indulging in behaviour that you'll probably regret later.

Now isn't that great news?

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The very nature of the Practica Program is to create the structure, order and predictability that your child craves and needs for optimal development. The Program offers a wide variety of activities that may seem overwhelming to time-strapped parents who try to do everything - but this variety is only there to offer choice and it's not intended to be a fixed curriculum. Remember, however, that no one is more central in your child's life than you are and that no one can take your place. So relax and focus on using the Practica Program in your unique situation to make the most of the time that you DO spend with your child.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

The Practical Fruits of Early Music Exposure

Photography: Loren Stow

In last week's post we discussed the Magic of Music (if you missed it, go here), and in this post we wanted to list the fascinating benefits that music has on various areas of your child's development.

Mathematics:

• Music changes the way neurons fire in your brain, after approximately 10 minutes of listening to a piano sonata your brain displays more orderly and efficient electrical impulses.
• Music allows the brain to prepare itself to perform complex algebra problems.
• The patterns found in music are similar to the patterns found in mathematics.
• Both music and mathematics follow logical order and sequence.
• Music increases spatial reasoning skills which is needed for understanding mathematics.

Reading:

• The rhythm recognition within music helps with the ability to recognise syllables.
• Pitch awareness in music assists with phonetic awareness in reading.
• Auditory conceptualisation (the ability to 'hear' a song in your mind) assists when children start to read (by 'hearing' words in their minds).
• The repetitive nature of the words in songs increases vocabulary which aids with understanding what you're reading.

Learning:

• Music aids with building the ability to remember.
• The patterns and predictability of music builds intellectual development.
• Music helps to encourage goal orientation.

Social and Emotional Development:

• Predictability of music and repetition increases feelings of security - especially with younger babies.
• Enjoying music develops 'joint attention' and allows parent and child to share a moment together.
• Music teaches imitation - especially when it comes to songs that have movements or specific sounds.
• Music sets an 'emotional tone', allowing your baby to experience various emotions such as excitement, calmness, sleepiness, sadness, happiness etc.
• Music is a form of self-expression and fosters joy.

While actively participating in music (such as dancing, clapping and singing) builds more neural pathways than listening alone, going a step further and teaching music to your child is even more beneficial.  Many studies have confirmed that children who formally learn music do better at school and receive better grades.

Music really is an amazing and magical gift to give your children - the love for which is outshone only by it's amazing brain-building qualities.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

The Magic of Music

Photography: Loren Stow

Music is so intrinsic in our lives, and has been for centuries. No one can deny the power that music has to elicit emotions and affect our mood. Music is an art form that has no other use except as a means of self-expression and self-actualisation. But unlike a painting which stands still, music is an art that happens over a period of time, unfolding and pulling us in with melodies, beats and words.

And if this were not enough, music is even more magical when it comes to our children, because music is closely linked to language, learning and mathematical development. In order to understand how this is possible, we need to delve a little deeper into what music actually is, so that we can understand it's effect on our child's developing brain.

Music is a complicated achievement involving many different dimensions. Firstly, you get the individual sound, frequency and pitch that build vertically into chords. Those chords are then strung together horizontally over time to build different rhythms and harmonies. Add to this the different instruments, the emotional tone of the music and the meaning-laden words... and you begin to get an idea of just how amazing music really is.

Because of the countless dimensions of music, it is complicated for our brains to process it. Listening to music involves no less than 12 areas of the brain, spanning both hemispheres. Scientists have found that the more frequently your child's developing brain is exposed to music, the better any information flows through it - this is called brain coherence.

Listening to music is a whole-brain exercise, as it works more areas than any other experience you'll find.  It is a well researched fact that music aids in the development of language, learning and mathematics skills later on in life, and now we understand why - because musical stimulation literally wires a brain to be able to process complex information, which requires that various parts of the brain work together coherently.

Interestingly, music is the bridge between language development and mathematical ability. Why is this?

Consider for a moment that language and communication is almost 90% emotional. Much of what we say, is communicated between the lines, for example gestures, facial expression, tone etc. On the other end of the spectrum we get mathematics that is almost 100% unemotional, and is purely logical - a science which is driven by pattern and formula.

Nestled somewhere in the middle we find music...

Music is both emotional and yet highly logical, it ebbs and flows and yet it follows a clear pattern.This is why it acts as the brain's link between language and mathematics. It literally wires a child's brain to be able to process these polar opposites (emotional language and logical mathematics) much easier later on in life.

Music is a uniquely creative and artistic way in which we can build our children's brains - something that not only grows and strengthens neural pathways, but is also enjoyable, fun and imaginative. Imagine singing along in the car, clapping hands to the beat of a favourite song, or dancing along to music - the more involved our children are in experiencing the music, the stronger and more lasting the effect. As we always say, love and emotion are the glue that makes the learning stick (if you missed that post, go here).

It is now easier to understand why researchers have found that children who are able to read, write or play music benefit greatly in later school years with higher grade averages.

The good news? Although it is ideal for your child to learn to read, write and play music, simply enjoying music is also brain building. This is an easy and fun way to create memories while investing in your child's future.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The activities that are related to music can be found under 'listening skills' for children under 24 months, and under 'Group 4 activities' for older children in the Practica Guide.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

On your marks... get ready... go!

Photography: Loren Stow

As busy parents, our lives are often filled with lists.  Get the kids ready; Go to work; Go to the grocery store; Prepare dinner; Bath the kids and get them to bed... tick, tick, tick... you get your list done and move onto the next thing.

While having the ability to race through your daily tasks may be a great skill with managing your time, it is not a great way of looking at your child's development.

Despite what many well-intentioned parents believe, milestones are not simply notches on your child's proverbial belt,  that must be raced through on the way to bigger and better things.  Milestones ARE the bigger and better things.

We found a really great parabel, about two dads who loved their boys very much.

Johnny and Timmy were exactly the same age and each of them received a ball for their birthday. Johnny's dad took it upon himself to teach his son how to play with the ball and when Johnny showed how quickly he learned how to kick, throw and catch the ball, his father was so proud. "OK," said Johnny's dad, "I am so proud of you, you're so clever. Now that you know how to do this, we don't have to bother anymore. Let's go do something else." Timmy, who's dad also grabbed the opportunity to teach him some ball skills was well impressed when Timmy also learned how to kick, throw and catch the ball. However, unlike Johnny's dad, when Timmy asked what they were going to do next, his dad answered, "Well, I'm going to teach you how to play soccer!" 

What both dads have in common is a love for their sons and for helping them to aquire new skills. However, Johnny's dad thought that he only needed to tick off a skill and that it would further develop on it's own without much input.

Timmy's dad however, realised that not only had his son achieved something and learned new skills, which made him proud, but these new skills also allowed them, as father and son, to do something together, to interact and learn and have fun - together.

Milestones are not only a case of ticking off a list of skills that your child should have at a certain age - each skill should be taken and nurtured, like a new flower in spring. Growing, watering, caring for and marveling in the amazing new skills your child is revealing everyday.

So how do you nurture your child's milestones? Sometimes its as easy as repeating the new skill over and over again, for as long this brings your child  joy. For example, a dad kicking a ball with his child everyday after work from the age of two until he goes off to univesity! 

At other times, it may mean expanding on a new skill, so that you keep your child interested. For example, a child who has learned to thread beads onto a string, can then start threading colour patterns such as red, blue, red, blue. 

Basically, the idea is that a milestone is not a medal to be hung around a child's neck, it is in fact the key to opening the door to new experiences and making new memories.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The structured, progressive way in which the program has been put together makes it easier for parents to keep on setting the barrier a little higher as their children develop. A great tool for doing this can be found in the back of the Practica Guide where there is a comprehensive list of skills, each with its related activities listed in order of difficulty.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Red Flags

Photography: Loren Stow

 

Every parent at some point or another wonders if their baby or child is 'on track' developmentally? The majority of parents know the basics about sitting, crawling, walking and first words, but not much beyond that.

Is it so important to understand milestones? What happens if your child misses a milestone? When do you need to get worried?

Understanding and tracking your child's milestones is important because this allows you to do three things:



Firstly, understanding where your child is in his development allows you to exercise the skills he's developing. By exercising these skills you assist in building stronger and denser neural pathways in his brain, which in turn lays a more solid foundation for the next stage of development.



Secondly, understanding where your child is in his development allows you to get to know your child as an individual and realise what his strengths and weaknesses are. You can then focus on playing games to further develop his talents and assist where needed.

Thirdly, understanding where you child is in his development will allow you to see if he's significantly delayed in any areas - these significant delays are called Red Flags, and you will then be able to take the necessary steps and start intervention as early as possible.



Red Flags come in two categories:

The first of these categories have to do with milestones and they are called Developmental Red Flags. These point out significant delays in achieving milestones, such as a child who is older than 18-months and not yet walking.

The second of these categories has to do with A-Typical behaviours and are called Behavioural Red Flags. These point out behaviours that are not typical, for example consistently only using one hand before the age of 18-months.

Early Intervention (EI) is the name given to actions taken to minimise the impact of a delay on your child's development. The earlier this intervention is started the better, because a child's brain is more impressionable during the first years.

When it comes to milestones, if you are not looking, you cannot know when you may need to focus on an area to strengthen the skill, assist your child in an area that he may be lagging, or to find Early Intervention in the case of a Red Flag.

Because of the importance of noticing Red Flags, we have created a page on the blog dedicated to them that you can refer to at any point in your child's development from birth to five years - here is the link.

Milestone's are not meant to be a judgement of your child's abilities, they are there to serve as sign-posts along the way to teaching your child to enjoy new skills and become a bright and well-rounded little learner.

Please remember to contact your nursing practitioner or doctor if you are concerned about your child's development at any point. This post and the Red Flag Page is meant as a guideline only. We believe that when it comes to parenting, knowledge is power, and when you know better you can do better.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: One of the unique features of the Practica Program is that it gives us the 'big picture'. We learn what to expect, as well as which activities we should focus on to amplify a child's development at every age. Try to repeat the brain-building activities listed in the Parents' Guide for your child's age group often and refrain from "working" through the list of activities as quickly as possible. Focus on having fun and the results will follow naturally!

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Channeling Your Carer's Energy

With even the most energetic and motivated carer, you will need to assist in guiding them with ideas for fun and brain-building activities for your child during the hours that you are not around.

A great way to motivate and channel their energy is by making up various lists for the various areas in your house. These will help guide your child's carer and remind them of the various age-appropriate games they can play.

For example, on the kitchen wall you can have a list that reminds them that packing and unpacking the Tupperware drawer is fun, and while feeding your child lunch they can remember to use the words for 'eat', 'plate', 'spoon', 'yum yum' etc.

In the bedroom, where they will be getting your child dressed, make a up list that reminds them to sing fun songs while dressing, and pointing out and naming your child's head, arms, legs, tummy, hands, feet and also giving the names for clothing such as pants, t-shirt, dress, shoes and socks.

In the playroom/lounge, where the majority of play is done, give your carer four lists for the four major areas of development - gross motor, fine motor, language and intellectual (Practica Parents will have more to choose from, however so just follow your guide). Ask them to do at least one activity off each list every day. This way you will be sure that they are working on your baby's major areas of development at least every day.

Ideas for the four lists could be:

Gross Motor - crawling through a box or tunnel, climbing, throwing or pushing a ball.

Fine Motor - anything involving hand-eye coordination, like building blocks, shape sorters, threading beads onto a string, turning the pages of a book.

Language - singing songs, reading books, looking at picture cards, talking and describing what is going on.

Intellectual - anything involving problem solving, like finding a ball hidden under a cup or playing hide and seek. Or task orientated activities that include starting, continuing and completing something (remember to use words throughout this experience to lead the child through the task), such as the process of packing away their building blocks and putting the box on the shelf.

Do not assume that just because your carer is motivated and energetic they know exactly what to do. Channel their energy and give them the support they need to do what is best for your child. They will be grateful for the ideas and feel motivated in having a clear path to follow. You, on the other hand, can rest assured in the knowledge that your child is being stimulated in an age-appropriate way regularly throughout their day.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The program is designed with many age-appropriate activities for you to choose from, and you can create new lists with every new phase of development. Many Practica Parents do the more bonding and emotionally-laden activities during their own time with their child, and then make a second list for their carer/nanny. The Practica Program offers 14 Areas of Development for birth to 2 years and then 6 Major Areas of Development for ages 2 - 6 years.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Choosing a Carer for your Child

Photography: Lisa Reid

My nanny is my children's favourite person - after two years with us, she's firmly rooted in my children's hearts. To see them together brings a smile to my face... she really is a second mother to them during the day, when I cannot be there.

When I started looking for a nanny, I had very little idea what kind of person I was looking for and, thank goodness, luck was on my side. I ended up choosing a wonderful woman who truly cares for my children and who is able to give them everything they need.

When it comes to choosing someone to care for your child (whether it's a nanny or creche teacher), do you know what to look for? What is the important criteria? How do you know this is the 'right' person?

It is important to remember that this person will have a major impact in shaping your child's personality and (hopefully) nurturing their skills and abilities. With this in mind, we have created a list of qualities you should look for when interviewing or choosing a carer. We hope it will make your job of finding a carer that much easier!

A Vibrant Personality

The carer you choose needs to have the ability to create an atmosphere for your child. They need to bring light and happiness into your child's life. Like intellectual development, 'happiness' is learned through experiences, which are wired into the brain as it develops. Contrary to popular belief, the ability to be happy and experience joy and excitement is not inborn in a baby. A child is born with the potential to be a happy person, but without happy experiences that potential will remain unlocked.

Part of having a vibrant personality is being able to live in the moment with an awareness of what is going on in your child's environment, and a readiness to put these experiences into words. The reason for this is because, as we explained in our posts 'naming your child's world' and 'living in the moment' (if you missed them go here and here) - it is so important that your child be given the words for what he's doing, feeling and experiencing. This helps your child to make sense of his world and develops his language and intellectual skills.

This person is your child's 'tour guide' to life and needs to show your child how to experience his world with energy and enthusiasm.


Eloquence

This goes hand in hand with a vibrant personality. Ensure that the person you choose is eloquent in your home language, because even the most vibrant personality is stifled when it cannot be expressed clearly in spoken language.
On a practical note, remember that you will need to communicate with this person about things such as administering medicine when your child is sick, the kinds of games you want them play with your child and what routine you want them to follow in terms of playing, eating and sleeping. And then there's the 'handover' time everyday when you want this person to describe the day for you - how did your child eat? did they get enough sleep? when was their last nap? were they happy or grumpy? was there an improvement if they are sick? This can only be done effectively if the person understands and communicates eloquently in your home language.


A Learner's Heart

Does this person want to learn, to explore, and become better? Will this person accept and embrace changes in routine? Can this person take instruction well and with an open heart? Will this person offer solutions when you ask what they think of a situation (they will know your child very well after all)? There will be times when your baby is young that routines will change almost weekly (even daily sometimes) and this person has to be able to 'roll with the punches' so to speak.

Remember that you have to manage the relationship with this person, explaining your reasons for wanting things done in a certain way, without feeling as though you might offend her in some way.


Instinct

When you meet this person, trust your mother's (or father's) instinct - it is almost always spot on. If something doesn't feel right when everything looks right 'on paper', then it probably isn't. If you get a good feeling, go with it because it's probably right.

This is perhaps one of the most important relationships you will form in your life - one that is fostered out of the need to do what is best for your child.


Verbal Reference

It is always a good idea to get a verbal reference from a previous employer. Written references can be fictitious. Find out why they left their previous employer and what that person's experience was, but also keep in mind that some people can be negative, so take the reference with a pinch of salt and let your instinct guide you.

Choosing a carer for your child is an important step and one that you cannot take lightly. We hope that these tips will help you to find the perfect fit for your child and your family!

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The Practica Program allows you to have 'the best of both worlds' - a nurturing carer to interact with your child on a one-on-one basis which fulfills his emotional needs, and the structured program which provides 'instant' training for your carer and helps her to interact with your child in the right ways at the right times.

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

How to Talk to Build Your Child's Spirit

Photography: Loren Stow

The words we choose to use when communicating with our loved ones have a profound impact on them and the atmosphere in your home. But sometimes it is difficult to know the 'best' way to phrase something, or how to give constructive criticism without hurting those we love.

When it comes to our children, so much of our communication is in the form of giving instructions or direction, and this can be tricky, because we want to build our little ones up, instead of having them feel as though their efforts are not good enough.

We also want to teach our children how to communicate in a caring and respectful way - and they are going to learn this from the way in which we talk to them day in and day out.



With this in mind, we thought it would be helpful to remember the following tips to encourage loving communication.

In general communication with your child, remember the following two points:

1. Validate your child's emotions - "I understand you are frustrated. but we don't hit other children," rather than "Why did you hit Johnny?" or "I know that your head must hurt after falling," rather than "You're a big boy, and big boys don't cry."

2. Avoid making negative statements - "Can I help you get that?", rather than "You're too small to reach that". It is unnecessary to mention anything to your child that is not encouraging.

When correcting your child, remember the following three points:

 1. Make statements instead of giving instructions - "We eat with our spoons", rather than "I want you to use your spoon" or "we don't hit others", rather than "don't hit others". This kind of instruction is a neutral statement of the 'how things are done in the world' and not a judgement or demand.

2. Give reasons for your rules, rather than demand unquestioned obedience - "Share your toys with your brother because he'd like to play too," rather than "Share your toys," or "we don't hit the dog because it hurts him," rather than "Don't hit the dog."

3. Explain what to do instead of what not to do - "Lets tidy your toys," rather than "Stop making a mess" or "Let's touch the cat softly (demonstrate)," rather than "Stop hitting the cat."

When giving your child directions or instructions, remember the following two points:

1. Be specific and share the details - "Finish all your food please," rather than "I want you to eat dinner nicely" or "I love the colours you used in your picture," rather than "Pretty picture."

2. Demonstrate what you're trying to say - "We hold our cup with both hands (demonstrate) so that we don't spill", rather than "Hold your cup nicely."

When we communicate in a way that doesn't judge or make demands, we are teaching our children a more loving and more peaceful way to be in the world. All the tips may seem too much to remember, so try applying one a week and slowly work your way through all of them - pretty soon it will become second nature!

These tips, if applied, can make a real difference to the atmosphere and energy in your home and family - building your child's spirit along the way.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: Since you are spending so much valuable time with your children with all the Practica Activities that you have available - it is especially important to give attention to the way in which you communicate with your child when you give instructions and feedback. The key is to build your child's self esteem.

If you would like to receive email updates please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

A Mother's Touch...

Photography - http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

 I believe that parents instinctively know that touch is not only soothing for their children, but that it also communicates love on a profound level. A caress of the cheek, a long and deep-felt hug, or rubbing a scraped knee - certain kinds of touch tell your child that they are loved and secure.

Science has finally caught up and after years of studies have confirmed what parents have always known - that touch is so incredibly beneficial for your child's health and well being.

According to the Massage Therapy Association of South Africa (http://www.mtasa.co.za/), "Touch and massaging has benefits (emotional as well as physical), such a sensory and muscle stimulation, relaxation, and stress management, just to name a few."

Dr. Tiffany Field, of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine (UMSM), stated in an annual meeting of the Academy of American Pediatrics, "Our research suggests that touch is as important to infants and children as eating and sleeping. Touch triggers physiological changes that help infants and children grow and develop. For example, massage can stimulate nerves in the brain which facilitate food absorption, resulting in faster weight gain. It also lowers levels of stress hormones, resulting in improved immune function."

According to Dr. Field, touch therapy involves either gently stroking or more firm deep pressure touch in three main regions of a child's body -

1. Face, neck, head and shoulders.

2. Arms and hands.

3. Back, legs and feet.

Your child will not only benefit physically from touch, but emotionally too. If you find your child is particularly insecure, clingy, unsettled or unnerved by a new event (such a new sibling, moving house, a divorce, a new school etc), touch can go a long way towards giving your child a deep sense of security and feeling of being loved. Touch is literally a direct way of tapping into your child's subconscious and giving him a strong message of love and acceptance.


The science behind touch involves a rather unknown '7th sense' called proprioception. In addition to sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste, human beings also have a vestibular sense (the sense of where you are in space - linked closely to a system in your inner ears) and a proprioceptive sense (the sense of where your body parts are in relation to each other, and a sensitivity to pressure and the experience of gravity).

This 7th Sense, proprioception, is very real, and affects your emotions in the same way as other senses affect mood - for example the soothing feeling of a soft blanket to in your hands, or the invigorating smell of Jasmin in the spring time.

You get much of your proprioceptive 'input' from your joints and muscles, which is why massage and deep pressure touch is so calming. When you swaddle a newborn baby, you are giving his whole body a deep pressure touch and feeding his proprioceptive sense in a calming way.

Now that you know the importance of touch, you can use it as a way to calm and soothe your child in moments of distress or even as an everyday tool for staying connected.

An easy way to do this is to gently, but firmly, hold and squeeze your child's arms from their shoulders to the hands, moving slowly and symmetrically with both hands. You can do the same on from their hips to their feet. Do this slow and constant deep pressure touch for at least 5 uninterrupted minutes to make sure the message gets through.

The benefits of deep pressure touch can be immediately calming, and if regularly done, can create long term feelings of well being and security.

The good news is that you can connect with your child on this level today - so tell them that you love them through your touch.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: Please remember that part of being a Practica Parents involves access to the advisory service where there is a panel of experts available to answer questions on development as well as emotional and social and discipline-related questions.

If you would like to be updated by email with each new post, please email lizette@practicaprogram.blogspot.com