Turn it off...

Photography: Loren Stow

Increase the quality of your interactions with your child and the amount you talk to you child by simply turning off that TV that is on in the background.

Many studies have been done on the effects that watching TV has on children's health and development, but how does having the TV on in the background, even when it isn't being actively watched, affect our interactions with our children?

Well, in addition to wasting our ever-precious electricity resources, two studies have found that an unwatched TV on in the background has a very measurable negative effect on our children.

The first study, conducted by Dr Christakis of the Seattle Children's Research Institute in America, looked at 329 children aged between 2 months and 4 years in their own homes. What the study found was that parents and children virtually stopped talking when the television was on, even if they were in the same room or doing an activity together.

Through special devices that the children and parents wore around their necks that counted the number of words spoken an hour, they found that with the television off, adults spoke on average 941 words per hour. When the television was turned on in the background, that average dropped dramatically to only 171 words per hour. The children also spoke much less.

Dr. Christakis elaborates, "Parents may not realise how little they interact with children when the TV is on. A mother may think she's engaging with her baby because they're both on the floor playing blocks. But if the TV is on in the background, the two of them talk much less."

Interestingly, mothers spoke about half as much as they usually do when the TV is off, but fathers were more severely affected, being practically silenced by the TV.

The second study, published in the journal of Child Development cited a study done by researchers from the University of Massachusetts in America. 50 children were studied, aged between one and three, each of whom was accompanied by a parent. A one hour session was created where the parents had to interact and play with their children. For half an hour they were in a playroom without a TV and for the other half an hour they were in a playroom with a TV on the background showing an adult game show program.

The researchers observed how often the parents talked to their children, how involved they were with their play and whether the children and parents responded to each other's questions and suggestions.

When the TV was on the background, the researchers found that the quality of the interactions dropped, and specifically that the parents spent 20% less time talking to their children. Having a TV on in the background resulted in parents that were less interactive, responsive and attentive to their children.

The good news?

We're not saying never watch TV again... but you can instantly increase the quality of your interaction with your child, and talk to them so much more, by simply switching your TV off when it's not being watched.

It doesn't get much simpler than that folks!


Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: probably one of the most important things about the program and the way that it is designed is to promote one-on-one interaction with your baby. There is nothing more important to your baby's development and well-being than being an active parent.

If you would like to be emailed when a new post is done, please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

TV Appearance

Sometimes life is ironic!  In light of our post on turning the television off... we're giving you news to turn it on!

Lizette has been invited to appear on Great Expectations - a popular parenting programme on e-tv, today at 11:30am. The topic is all about toddlers... Take a look if you've got a chance!

XXX

"N" is for Naming-The-World

Photography - Loren Stow

You know it's important to give your baby the names for things (like dog, cat, bath, water, ball etc), and that when they reach toddler-hood they literally demand the names for things... but you're not to sure why this is so important and how much of a difference it can make to your child's development.

Well, imagine you're a traveller to a new, and foreign, city. You jump off the bus and you're in the town square, surrounded by sounds, smells and sights that you've never experienced before. It's quite overwhelming and you ideally need a native tour guide to help explain where you're at and start exploring the city.

The tour guide explains where you are, gives you a history on the buildings around you, explains that the yummy smell coming from a nearby cafe is their local delicacy, and that the loud sounds in the background are from the trams passing by. And you slowly start to understand your surroundings and build pictures in your mind that will allow you to navigate your way easier.

Parenting is a similar concept. Your child will for many years experience absolutely new things each and every day, and without being told what these things are, your child will struggle to get their bearings. In a child's development, language and intellect are closely linked. This means that knowing the words for things helps them to understand those things.

The more you encourage your baby to look at something and listen to it's name or explain how it works, the better he'll understand what he hears and sees and his intellectual development will follow suit.


A well known experiment demonstrates how this works:

Two groups of children, aged 13 - 31 months, were given the same task - to find a sweet hidden in one of two boxes (coloured green and red). The first group were left to find the box themselves and discovered that the red box contained the sweet. This took some trial and error and the children forgot from one day to the next that it was always the red box.

The second group of children were also left to find the sweet in the red box, but when they did find the correct red box the experimenters always said the word 'red'. This group needed only 15 trials before they made the connection and consistently chose the red box first.

A week later both groups were brought back to see if they would remember which box held the sweet. The first group of children could not remember and had to be taught again, while the second group of children remembered immediately without any help. Simply saying a single word, 'red', while teaching them a week prior had helped these children to remember.

So, in your day to day life with your little one, don't forget the importance and impact of naming things in his world. You can name body parts while bathing, or clothes while dressing. You can even name sounds or animals, toys and games, thoughts and feelings. The important thing to remember is that you're your baby's 'tour guide' in this new and exciting place called Life.

When playing the 'Naming Game', keep these tips in mind:


Use short sentences - five words or less is best. Instead of saying, "come let's go and have a lovely hot bath", rather say "we're going to bath". Imagine if you were learning a new language, the more words that are used that you don't understand, the less likely you'll be able to understand anything that's being said. Keep it short and simple and your child will understand more.

Use the same phrases - when teaching your child words, it's best to use the same phrases for things that you could describe in a multitude of ways (clean up, tidy up and put your things away all mean the same thing). Choose one way to describe something and always use it first - you can then elaborate to expand their language base, for example "Let's tidy up. See, you put these toys in the basket." and then "Let's tidy up. See, you put your clothes in the wash basket."

Repeat Key Words - It also helps to repeat your key word in two consecutive sentences. For example, you can say "There is the cat. Let's stroke the cat", or "Let's go bath. Do you like to bath?".

Use hand movements - it helps to throw in some hand movements as well to illustrate the words. For example, you can rub your hands together and say ,"Let's wash our hands" or you can gesture and touch your lap and say "Come sit on mommy's lap."

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: Remember when you use the program to not only focus on the toys and the apparatus in the toy box, but also give attention to the activities in the guide. Because there are activities that do not involve toys that are so important to learn and use.

If you would like to receive email updates when the blog is updated, please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Living in the Moment...

photography: Loren Stow

Because of the way their brains are wired, babies and young children live from moment to moment and consequently have little concern for what's going to happen later or what happened earlier. For them it's all about now.

As adults, living in the moment can be very difficult to achieve... in fact there are entire philosophies and 'self-help' books dedicated to 'Living in the Now'. If it was easy to live in the moment, we wouldn't be spending to much time trying to achieve it!

The important thing about being a parent living in the moment is firstly that you are able to appreciate and therefore share and communicate with your child all the wonderful sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes of the experience - most of which you'd miss if you weren't firmly grounded in the moment. And secondly, you are able to fully appreciate the emotions that go along with what's going on around you. In both instances, of course, you are sharing these sensory and emotional treasures with your little one.

So, while you're trying hard to get your toddler ready to leave the house on a Saturday morning, rushing here and there to get bags packed, food ready, bottles filled - planning for the next couple of hours you'll be out, your toddler is living happily in the moment, wanting to explore and learn and have fun.

A fantastic tool that will help you stay in the present moment with your child is the same tool that helps bring logic to your child's world and decodes his experiences - talking.

The importance of talking to your child constantly - running a commentary - on what you and they are doing, thinking and feeling and what's going on around them, cannot be underestimated (if you missed the post about this go here).

Talking shapes your child's understanding of the world and - voila! - it's a great tool for keeping you firmly grounded in the present moment (even if that moment is about throwing the washing in the basket, filling a bottle of water or packing a bag).

So, keep talking and you'll have found the key to staying right in the moment with your child.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better


*Practica Parents: Make sure to choose your activities for the week ahead of time. This will make it easier for you to weave it into your everyday lifestyle, from one moment to the next. By doing brain-building activities while you're eating, bathing or having fun with your child, you adding the sensory experiences and the emotion to the activity which makes it so much more effective.

If you would like to be emailed when the blog is updated, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Just add Water...

photography: Loren Stow

There is a saying that goes 'children are like little sponges, sucking up everything around them', and in fact, I've read that young children love learning so much that they'd actually rather learn than eat. As parents we know that it's our role to teach our babies and children everything they need to know, and this can be rather daunting, especially considering that we really don't have a whole lot of extra time to spare.

The good news is that there is practially a step-by-step recipe to help make the time spent with your child so much more valuable and effective. So, remember the following points when you're next with your baby or child and see how their learning blossoms.

First... add a good dollop of emotion

We've learned in previous posts how important your love is in any learning situation (if you missed the post, go here). It is like the glue that sticks the learning in place. To amplify the emotional input, make every experience animated, with larger-than-life expressions on your face, talk in funny voices, cuddle and play rough and tumble. Think big, make sure that you're also having fun and you can't go wrong!

Second... continually sprinkle language

Think of yourself as a sports commentator, running a continuous commentary on what you and your baby are doing, thinking and feeling, and what is going on in the world around you... Just giving your baby the words for what's going on around him or her is invaluable.

Remember always that language is what sets us apart from the animal kingdom, and what gives human beings the edge. We think in words, and without them we don't have any understanding or insight into what's happening in ourselves and in the world around us.

Language adds logic to your baby's world - by talking to him about everything you are 'translating' his world for him.

Third... add a pinch of contrasts

Babies and children find it much easier to understand a concept if both opposites are present. If you want to teach your baby what 'big' is, show him both big and small - let him literally hold a big ball and then a small ball in his hands. If you want your child to understand what soft is, show him both soft and hard and so on and so forth.

Fourth... repeat and repeat again

Just like grown ups, babies and children learn best through repetition, and repetition promotes recognition - which is a very handy intellectual skill. This means that you'll be helping your child to recognise something if you repeatedly discuss 'defining features', for example, that a dog has four legs, fur, a big nose and says 'woof', or that a bird has feathers, two legs, a beak and says 'tweet'.

Constantly naming and describing things will help your baby to learn about the world around him, in which he's bombarded with new things almost every day.

Fifth... add a heaped serving of demonstration

Babies and children live in the moment and are very physical beings. They learn through experiences and from their bodies. They learn faster when something is demonstrated to them.

If you want your baby to learn the difference between square and round, let them touch a block and describe the four corners and then touch a ball and feel the round-ness of it. If you want them to learn big and small, try putting a small ball through a medium sized hole and see it go through and then putting a big ball through the hole and they'll notice it can't fit. Try learning numbers through clapping hands 1... 2... 3... Or stacking blocks 1... 2... 3...

The idea is to show them and let them experience physically what you're trying to describe, for example, taking their hand and showing them how to stroke the cat softly is much more understandable than just giving them the instruction.


So, teaching your baby and child is not so difficult if you remember to add emotion, give them a running commentary, teach them concepts through contrasts, repeatedly point out defining features of things in the world, and demonstrate what you want to teach them in a practical real-life situation.


Have fun with your little ones, explore the world through their beautifully fresh eyes, imagine the wonder and joy of learning something new, every day...


Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better


*Practica Parents: It adds a lot of fun and conviction to the activities we do as part of the Practica Program if we know WHY the activities have been selected and put together in the way they have been. When you page through your guide and read the individual activities, it'll be interesting for you to see how each one of them in one or other way reflects at least one of these five important teaching tools.

If you would like to receive an email each time the blog is updated, please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Toys Toys Everywhere...

Photography: Loren Stow

When my son was just a baby, I often found myself standing in a toy store once a month (at least) looking at the array of colourful, musical, soft and feely, bright and plastic, big, small, complicated and alluring toys... whew! And I thought "which one do I get?"

I always went for the fairly expensive variety that included loads of knobs, lights and tunes... and they are now sitting in my son's cupboard, silent from a lack of batteries, their colourful patterns and shapes hidden behind a pile of freshly washed towels.

My son hardly ever played with one of these toys for more than a few minutes and completely lost interest. I always thought "maybe next time I'll pick the right one", but never actually stopped to ask myself what kind of toys would actually be good for him.

In the most extensive study of it's kind as to what toys actually do make a difference, Craig Ramey of the University of Alabama found that it was the old fashioned - no batteries required - toys that made the biggest difference in enhancing cognitive, motor and language development.

It's toys like building blocks, beads and peek-a-boo... It's sorting socks by colour or listening to the soothing cadences of a fairytale read by mom or dad. It's singing action songs and clapping to the music. It's playing in the sand and climbing the jungle gym...

What do all of the above toys have in common? Can you guess? The answer is a bit of imagination and some parental input. Babies and children just love activities that include excitement, emotional input from parents, and being physically involved in the experience.

What really grows their minds and holds their attention is you. More than anything, your input makes the biggest difference for your baby. You don't have to spend a fortune on flashy toys, or stand for hours in the toy store wondering what on earth to buy today - you've got the answer - go back to basics, focus on simple, practical, and old fashioned.

Now... isn't that good news?

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

*Practica Parents: The program is based on this very concept - that 'old fashioned' is good for a very good reason. The program tells you how to play age-old games in different ways and at different ages in order to develop different skills. As we always say, it's about doing the right thing at the right time, you just have to jump in and play!

If you would like to receive an email every time the blog is updated, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Fertile Ground - how your baby's brain grows and develops

photography: Loren Stow

In the spirit of the Lizette's years of searching and gaining knowledge, we thought it would be apt to start our blog off with a post on how your baby's brain is wired. To understand this could change the way you view your role as parent forever. In fact, it is only in recent years that science has corroborated Lizette's early passion for shaping your baby and child through experience.

Your baby is born with approximately 100 billion brain cells, but he is not able to use most of them because the connections between the cells are yet to be 'hard-wired', which can be compared to a row of telephone poles that still need to be wired together before they can carry messages. Neuroscientists can today confirm the unlike an arm or leg that simply grows bigger, the brain doesn't only grow, it changes with each new connection it makes!

This basically means that what your child's early experiences impact his brain to the point where it is shaped to adapt to his unique circumstances. His experiences have a direct effect on his ability to be happy, feel safe, think intelligently and use his latent skills and talents.

When your baby is born, his primitive reflexes, such as breathing and his beating heart are in place in order for him to survive. Then, in the first couple of months, your baby's brain makes trillions of connections between brain cells, more than he'll ever actually need, but these connections are immature and wispy and are only 'hard-wired' through experience.

Those connections that are not hard-wired through experience actually fall away in a process called 'pruning'. The implications of this discovery are astounding because it means that without regular exposure, the ability to learn and understand certain things will fall away and become difficult or impossible to learn later on.

The more your baby experiences something, like your caress or a lullaby, holding his rattle or building blocks, the stronger the connections become. The opposite is also true. Researchers at the Baylor College of Medicine in the US have found that children who don't play much and are rarely touched develop brains that 20% - 30% smaller than their peers.

The data coming from laboratories are underscoring the importance of hands-on parenting, of how important it is to cuddle your baby, talk to your toddler and provide your children with stimulating experiences. Scientists have seen evidence of this fact as early as the 1970's, but it has only been recently that researchers have had the tools powerful enough to actually see inside your baby's brain.

Children who are talked to more often have larger vocabularies confirms a study by Janellen Huttenlocher of the University of Chicago. At 20 months, children of talkative mothers had on average 131 more words than their peers, while this more than doubled at 24 months to a gap of 295 more words.

What was also discovered is that only "live" language works, not television, because for language retention to be effective it must be used in relation to ongoing events and in the presence of real-life emotions, or it's just white noise.

This discovery lead to another - that information embedded in an emotional context seems to stimulate neural activity more powerfully than information alone. In a book written by Steve Biddulph, called 'Raising Babies' he explains how love and happiness literally grows babies' brains.

"When a baby sees a smiling face, or is given a warm cuddle, its body produces more growth hormone and it's brain comes alive, and grows new connections more quickly. Happiness is as essential to a baby as food or air."

So, not only is stimulation important for your baby, but the way in which the stimulation is packaged. Love and care are the glue that makes the learning stick, so to speak. If your baby's brain development could be compared to a stack of loose bricks, love and care would be the mortar used to build what will house your baby's full potential.

Now that the scientific community has confirmed how important experiences, stimulation and a loving environment are for your baby, I am sure you are wondering how you can use this knowledge to change your life?

The first and most important step is to create a secure and loving environment, as this is the 'glue' that will make everything else you do stick.

The second thing to remember is that with limited time, you must always aim to stimulate your baby or child in an age-appropriate way. Do what they need, when they need it. For example, an hour long marathon of stimulation is not going to work for a child who has a five-minute attention span. Rather spread out stimulation into little bundles throughout the day.

And lastly, see your child as a 'whole person'. Find a balance between nurturing their weaknesses and building on their strengths. Remember all the areas of development - physical, emotional, intellectual and social and try to include them all in your day-to-day life.

Your child, born with an amazing capacity to learn, needs you and your loving interaction to shape his abilities - to lay the foundation for the rest of his life. While this is a real responsibility, it is also exciting and motivating. Sing or talk as you change your baby's nappy, smile and laugh as you build blocks, play peek-a-boo to get your little one to laugh, cuddle when you read together, let your face light up when your child enters a room.

The good news is that your love really does make a huge difference to your child's ability to reach his fullest potential.

Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better


*Practica Parents, we hope this post inspires you to continue using the programme everyday. There are so many valuable exercises designed to reinforce the connections in your baby's brain, to build a solid foundation for future potential. If you ever wonder how to use something in the program, please call the advisory service for assistance.

If you would like to be notified by email when the blog is updated please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Have a Question?

Because this whole "Blog-Experience" is new and daunting to many, we thought we would cover some questions you may have.

Q: What is this blog about?
A: Go to our Welcoming Post, which will explain the reason for the creation of this platform.

Q: How do I become a follower?
A: 1) You need to set up a Google Account (which is totally secure and costs nothing) by going here. 2) Click on the "follow this blog" button on the left hand margin of our blog. And voila!, you're a follower! From now on, when you comment, you have the option to sign in and comment as a follower.

Q: What is the Practica Program? A: Go here to find out everything you need to know.

Q: Where can I find previous Practica Program Parents' Articles (newsletters)? A: Go here for the archived newsletters.

Q: How do I order a Practica Program? A: You simply email info@lorenstow.co.za in order to be contacted by a sales person.

Q: Can I be listed as a link or promote my product on this blog? A: Yes you can. Simply contact Loren at info@lorenstow.co.za.

Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better
If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Welcome

Welcome to the Practically Speaking Blog, a place where we want parents to come to share, connect and learn more about their children by understanding their child's inner world. Haven't you often wished you could find out what your child was thinking, why they do certain things or refuse to do others? Well, we kind of want to show what your child would say if they had the words to express themselves.

This blog is based on 17 years of practical research in the field of child development, and we will be talking to the founder of the Practica Program (http://www.practicaprogram.co.za/), Lizette van Huyssteen, every week to get her thoughts on interesting and everyday topics on raising children. Through her wealth of knowledge, we are hoping that you can learn something new as a parent and perhaps see parenting from a new and exciting perspective.

As for myself, a writer and mother of two, I have been inspired to work alongside Lizette, to 'translate' her years of knowledge into easy-to-digest bite sizes and to put this all down on the blog because I'm inspired. I know that Lizette has amazing knowledge that could make our lives as parents easier, put things in perspective and inspire us with real knowledge.

I'm a dreamer, hoping that parents who are doing better because they know better will raise children who do better and become better citizens of the world. I'm doing this for my children, for their future.

So, beyond the emotional heart-to-heart stuff! Our aim is to post something amazing, something that will change your life, a conversation (or message) that makes you stop and look at parenting in a whole new and exciting way, every Friday. You can then take it home, mull over it, sleep on it, let it find a place in your heart if it serves you to do that. Then, every Tuesday we'll be posting something a bit lighter, more fun, perhaps a bit of advice, maybe an interesting product or website we've found, or even just a quote. Just a little something for the week ahead.

So welcome, from the bottom of our hearts. We truly hope that you find something here, something you can take home with you, something that inspires you, something that changes you in some little way. Welcome.


Words: Loren Stow
when we know better... we do better