10 tips to boost speech & language development

Children are talking less. In fact, research in the UK points to a disturbing trend where half of all five-year-olds entering primary school are very far behind on their speech milestones. “Up to 300,000 [children] are struggling to string a sentence together or [aren’t able] to understand simple instructions by the age of five,” says the Daily Mail article penned by Sarah Harris. And, says Sarah, the main reason for this sad state of affairs is that today’s parents simply spend less time speaking to their children than the parents of yesteryear...

    This is all fine and well, but we’re beyond busy these days aren’t we? Just how can we fit more time into our days? The fact is, being a parent has always been a really tough job, but our parents didn’t have television ‘digital’ babysitters or battery operated decoys… They had to find a way to include us and engage us… The simplest way back then was through conversation. And parents today can do the same – for the sake of their children’s ability to speak and understand language.

   The good news is that there are 10 easy pointers that can amplify your efforts as you encourage your little one’s speech and language skills.

1.       Put yourself in your child’s shoes
What does your child want to talk about? What would be most important to your child in the different situations you find yourselves in? Your child is most likely to pay attention to what you say when you’re talking about something that interests him, albeit using simple language. On top of this, you can  learn a great deal about what your little one is thinking and feeling by looking at his facial expressions and his body language to see where he is focusing his attention.

2.       Make it meaningful and simple

Always start with the most natural and common use of a word possible.
  
   For example, start with ‘bird’ before progressing to ‘goose’ or ‘duck’.

3.       Get descriptive
Try not to just name things, but describe them too…

   For example, ‘see the shiny apple’ or ‘touch the cat softly’. And, instead of simply saying, “Put it over there”, you can say “Please put the fluffy cushion on the blue chair.” The more specific and descriptive our language is as we speak to children, the more they learn.

4.       Get real
While it remains  really important to read books with your child and point to pictures, language is often learned much quicker through actual experience. For example, it is much easier to learn the words ‘kick’ and ‘ball’ when you’re actually kicking a ball together.

5.       Make the most of everyday opportunities
This is really an easy one, because any toddler wants to be involved anyway.

   For example, let your child help you pack the washing machine and talk about ‘socks’, ‘pants’, and other clothes, or let them “help” you find things in the grocery store.

   It’s great to introduce children to new and novel experiences for obvious reasons, but everyday experiences are specifically valuable because they create the opportunity for children to learn through real life experience. It’s also easy to repeat these experiences over and over again.  

6.       Use gestures
Not only is it ok, it is actually great if you use gestures for certain words such as ‘hello’ (wave), ‘fetch the…’ (point), ‘sit on my lap’ (pat your lap) etc. You can also indicate when things are big or small with your hands or point if you want your child to climb over or under something. To add to the meaning as well, you can use your voice and facial expressions to indicate anger, sadness, sleepiness, happiness etc.

7.       Repetition, repetition, repetition
It is very important to emphasize and repeat the words you want your child to learn. Sometimes you may need to repeat something several times and sometimes a hundred times; it depends on the age of your child and the particular word.

   For example, you can emphasize the word whenever the moment arises and then repeat it immediately again, “It is time to bath. You like to bath. Let’s go bath!”

8.       Respond immediately
There is nothing like an instant response to tell a child that using language and speaking is important and valuable to them. When your child sees results, there will be more incentive for them to try and try again.

   For example, when you’re child points at a dog and says ‘dog’, you can respond by saying, ‘Yes… there is the dog! What do dogs say? Woof woof!’

9.       Practice makes perfect
At first your child will be approximating words and they may not be pronounced perfectly. This is just fine at first, so encourage your child to use the word without correcting the mistake and embarrassing your child.   Rather respond by using the word correctly in a sentence, for example, when your child points to a baby and says, “ba”, you can respond with, “Oh yes, a baby! Let’s say hello to the baby!”

10.   What words are not…
In order to learn what things are, your child also needs to know what they are not… It’s generally best to point out what something is before pointing out what it is not…

    For example, when you are playing with a ball you can use the ‘ball’ and then refer to a cube and say, ‘Is this a ball? No! Of course not! (and giggle) It’s a cube!’

   When research tells us that parents are spending more time watching television than in meaningful conversation with their children, it becomes concerning. Language is vitally important for a child’s intellectual development and being a parent is a lot like being a tour-guide to your child’s world.

   Talking to your children doesn’t have to mean dedicating more time that doesn’t actually exist – it just means switching off the television, getting them involved and making a little effort to talk to them – they will love it and so will you!

Remember, if your child can’t name it, he can’t claim it.

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better...

To comment or to be added to the mailing list for blog updates please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Asking and answering questions made simple

Image: www.lorenstow.co.za

Most parents can agree that it is incredibly frustrating when your baby or toddler wants something but can’t communicate what it is… You don’t know what to get them or do for them, and they get increasingly frantic… Another example is when you know that your child knows something, but when you ask them a question about it, all you get is a blank stare, like when you ask your child to show you the blue crayon and all of a sudden they can’t.

    With this in mind, we thought it would be fitting to do a post on how to teach your child to ask and answer questions. It is not as difficult as it sounds and is based firmly on encouraging your child to take part in his day-to-day activities while giving him a running commentary of what’s happening and why.

    Other than the obvious benefit of being able to understand what your child wants, teaching him how to ask to questions will also boost his confidence, help him to learn more about what’s going on around him in his world, and eventually increase his social skills.

Learning to ask

The process of teaching your child how to ask questions is, as with everything else, an on-going ‘dance’ that will continue well into adolescence, but you can get started from about the age of 21 months.

Question skills generally follow a typical order as follows:


2 yrs             Q: Yes/No     Eg: May I go?
2yrs              Q: What       Eg: What is this?
2 ½ yrs         Q: Where      Eg: Where is my shoe?
2 ½ - 3 yrs    Q: Who         Eg: Who is that?
4 – 5 yrs       Q: Why         Eg: Why is he crying?
4 – 5 yrs       Q: How         Eg: How did you make that?
5 – 6 yrs       Q: When       Eg: When is she coming?

“What” and “Where” questions develop first because at that stage a child is typically more interested in the names and locations of various things in their world. The “Why” and “How” questions develop from age four because this is when children start to think in more abstract terms. And the “When” questions develop after a child has learned a concept of time.

Why do some children struggle to ask questions?

There could be three reasons, and if your child is struggling at all it may be a good idea to see which area could use some attention. In order to ask a question your child needs to:

1. Know how to put words together to form questions
2. Have the thinking skills to think of something to ask
3. Trust that the other person is going to react positively

Encourage your child to ask questions

• You can start by modelling the behaviour and showing your child how people think about certain things, and then answer your own questions, for example “What is this? A feather!” or “What are we going to do next? Close the door!”

• Give your full attention when your child is asking a question, get down to their eye level and be patient, allowing enough time for the question to be asked.

• Answer your child’s questions – when you do this your child knows that they have been successful and their self-confidence is boosted.

• If you don’t understand the question, ask your child to repeat it or to try and show you. If your child hasn’t asked correctly or hasn’t used words, repeat their question in a simple, correct way and then answer it. For example, if your child points at their juice on the table you can say, “You want your juice? Here, mommy will get your juice for you.”

Learning to answer

The ability to answer questions develops at roughly the same rate as the ability to ask questions, and it’s a good idea to meet your child where they are at. So, if your child is asking “Why” questions, then you can assume that he can answer “Why” questions as well.

    The best time to ask questions is when you and your child are engrossed in an activity together. Wait and watch your child and see what his attention is on, and then ask a question about that. Make sure you have your child’s full attention before asking the question and allow your child some time to answer the question, creating a calm and accepting atmosphere.

    As a parent, it’s important to ask your child questions, but don’t overdo it and become like 00-Mom/Dad… It is all too easy to dominate the conversation. Try using questions to discover what your child is thinking and what he knows so that you know how to relate to him, rather than turning the conversation into a test or a lesson.

    And don’t forget, questions like “You know what?” are your child’s way of getting your attention so that they can share something with you – so respond with interest and love, and most of all have fun!

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better


Comments? Suggestions? Or simply want to be added to the emailed updates? Contact lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Inspirational Quote

As parents we are facing a time in history where the role of the parent is being downplayed by the advent of technology to make your life easier. You can buy a machine to make and freeze baby food, a chair that rocks your baby for you, a weighted pillow in the shape of a hand that mimics your hand on your baby's sleeping body, books where you can record your voice reading to your child...

These products all have one thing in common - but by promising to make the parent's life easier by 'taking the parent's place' what they are actually saying is that a parent's role is so unimportant that a clever design and set of batteries can replace it.

This, thankfully, is not true. Nothing can take your place. Nothing can be invented or designed to offer what a real, and loving, parent can.

With this in mind is today's inspirational quote - because you really matter to your children!

Image: Loren Stow http://www.lorenstow.co.za/

"No one has more potential to influence your child than you. We need to remember that our influence has more to do with our relationships with our children than it does our skills as parents."

- Reggie Joinuer & Carey Nieuwof

The Practica Team

parents who know better... do better

Five ways in which a child learns social skills

Image: http://www.sheknows.com/

Most parents agree that they want their children to reach their full potential – whatever that may be. They won’t enjoy and celebrate a child any less if it turns out that his or her fullest potential doesn’t involve straight A’s and being hugely successful in the sports arena. In fact, most of us will be more than pleased to see our little ones grow up to be truly happy and successful in their own unique way. As long as they live their best life – everything else is a bonus.


    However, ask any adult about their happiness level and whether they think they’re living meaningful lives and you will soon realise that "living your best life" is not as easy as it sounds. It's so difficult, in fact, that any practical advice to parents about things that can be done during the early years to increase a child’s changes to be happy and content one day is extremely valuable.


    Today’s tips focus on what research teaches us about cultivating social skills in our children. It is, after all, impossible for a person to be either happy or successful without being able to get along with people.


    Here are five things that parents can do to help lay a solid foundation with regards to social skills:


1. Talk about emotions. Studies show that children, whose parents talk about emotions often, are more popular and more comfortable in social situations and better able to cope with anger and disappointment.


2. Deliberately work on having a sunny outlook on life. Kids with the most developed preschool social skills are the ones who experience more positive emotions at home. It’s not necessary or even realistic to be constantly happy, but practice a “can-do” attitude towards setback and frustrations.


    Studies indicate that children suffer when parents – and particularly mothers – tend to give in to anger or despair when things don’t go according to plan. The more often children see their mothers display negative emotions, the less likely they are to view their mothers as people who can comfort them and give them advice.


3. Create special opportunities for pretend play and join in the action every now and then. One of the most important ways in which children develop friendships during the pre-school years is by playing pretend games together.


    Researchers have found that kids who pretend together are less likely than other kids to quarrel or have communication problems. They also develop self-control and the ability to “put themselves in somebody else’s shoes”. Parents who play along from time to time are doing their children a huge favour. Kids are found to play for longer and at a higher level when parents encourage them – but remember to keep the experience upbeat and don’t take over the situation completely; allow your little one to take the lead.


4. Use words wisely when you discipline your child. Kids whose parents take the time to explain rules and discuss consequences of bad behaviour have found to be popular, have more self-control and less conflict with peers.


5. Be sensitive to your child’s emotions. One study, done by Suzanne Denham in 1997 asked children to say what they think their parents would do when they experience strong emotions in various situations, for instance when they wake up from a bad dream. The very same kids who reported that their parents would comfort them and not ignore their emotions or get angry were the ones who were pointed out by teachers to be more socially skilled when they are amongst their friends. These children were also better able to relate to other children’s feelings, and they were generally more cooperative.


    What much of the research boils down to is that taking part, in an emotionally positive way is very important to your child’s social development. What’s more, discussing emotions, whether positive or negative, helps your child to understand their own emotions, and therefore other people’s emotions, so much better.


The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better


Comments or want to be added to the mailing list for future updates? Email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Making Choices

Image: www.ayushveda.com

Gone are the days where children were seen and not heard. In today’s world it is very popular – expected in fact – to give children choices. One theory is that if a child is given a choice, say between the green and the red t-shirt, then he’d most likely follow through and not have a tantrum over having to get dressed.

    The second theory is that children who are given the opportunity to make choices will naturally make intelligent choices later on life – practice makes perfect after all doesn’t it?

    These theories are both true, and children do need to be given the opportunity to make choices. However, it is important that a child is not expected to make a choice that is beyond their ability to understand the consequences of that choice.

The difference between responsible and irresponsible choices
Preschool children should be allowed to make choices in their daily lives, however these choices should only be ones that your child is capable of making. You should not give your child a choice that you will not accept, or one that will put them in harms way.

    For example, it’s great to give a preschooler the choice between the red and blue t-shirt, but not whether they want to bath or not. Your preschooler cannot know that not bathing will potentially result in a health hazard a few days later. At this age, your child thinks on a very concrete level and abstract ideas are not within their grasp.

    Using a rather extreme example is toddler-proofing your home, including putting safety plugs in sockets. You simply do not want to give your child the ability to choose whether they’d like to put their finger in the plug or not – this would be very unsafe and completely irresponsible.

Giving your preschooler safe and healthy choices
It would be inappropriate to allow a preschooler to eat chocolate for breakfast, because that was their choice. Of course, the wonderful sweet taste is an instantly enjoyable experience and your toddler would likely choose it over and over again. But it’s simply unhealthy in the long term.

    This doesn’t mean you cannot give your toddler a choice of different breakfasts, it just means that you have limit their choices to healthy options, for example “Would you like French toast or cereal for breakfast?” In this way, your toddler’s choice will be guaranteed to be healthy and something that you’re comfortable with.

    Another example of giving your toddler a healthy choice is when they are outgrowing their daytime nap at around the age of four. Your toddler is tired and cranky and you know they need to nap, but if you had to ask them if they’d like to have a nap, their answer would most surely be a loud ‘no!’

    So, instead of asking them if they’d like to nap, try another strategy – give your child the option of taking a nap or reading a book during some quiet time. Guaranteed your child will choose the book and will most likely be asleep in no time anyway. If not, at least your child has benefited from some calming quiet time.

Keep choices limited
Toddlers can and should make choices, but these should be limited to two or three different options. Any more options are simply confusing. It is your job as a parent to narrow down the choices for your child and as time progresses and your child matures, they will be able to make healthy decisions.

    You will ensure that your toddler is exposed only to the choices that they can responsibly be expected to make. You will be giving your child the ability to exercise their ability to choose and directly affect their environment, fostering valuable self-esteem.

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better.

If you have a comment or if you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

Inspirational Quote

Today's inspiring quotation is about fighting - but in the good sense. Fighting for what you believe in, standing up after being knocked down and instilling in your child the will to persevere through thick and thin as they learn to trust, from watching you and living with you from day to day, that you are fighting for them and not with them.

"There is a world of difference between when you fight with someone and when you fight for someone. When you fight with someone, you want to win. When you fight for someone, you want that person to win. When you fight with people, walls are built up. When you fight for people, walls come down. When you fight with people, relationships are jeopardised. When you fight for people, relationships are prioritised."

- Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity.

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better.

How to arm yourself for parenting in public

Image: www.positiveparentingsolutions.com

It’s murphy’s law that as soon as you come across another mother of four amazing, well-behaved children in the isles of Woolies, floating along on an aura of complete calm and composure... your (*ahem*... quiet and reserved) toddler will have a complete temper tantrum over the fact that you will not let them have the entire sweet shelf to themselves… What do you do? How do you cope with such a moment, especially in the face of everyone in the shop who have obviously noticed your debacle, and yet pretend not to as they rubberneck like they're passing an accident on the N1 in peak hour…

Lizette offers four ways in which to prepare for, and react to such a situation, as well as an awesome tip for parents of slightly older toddlers and young children.

1. Prepare your children
The first key is prepare your child in advance and to explain exactly what you expect from them.
    Using our Woolies example, you could say “We are going to Woolies and mommy wants you to sit quietly in the trolley and help me find all the groceries. Mommy doesn’t want you to be naughty, because if you are, then mommy will have to give you time-out when we get home. But if you’re good for mommy, you can choose one sweet when we get to the till.”
   This prepares your child for what is going to happen and how you expect them to behave.

2. Always put your child’s needs first
Although it may be tempting to try and hush over a moment where your child oversteps the boundaries that you laid out in point one, you need to keep your child’s need for your guidance and discipline at the top of your priority list.
   You will need to act swiftly and with conviction, despite what you think other’s may be thinking of you, your child or the (rather embarrassing) situation.

3. Never embarrass your child socially
While, in the heat of the moment, some parents may be tempted to scream, shout and perform, just so that all the other people (read: spectators) can see that they mean business and that they’re not the kind of parents whose kids walk all over them, do not do this.
    It is very important that you do not embarrass your child in a social setting. Take them aside and talk sternly to them about the situation, in a way that does not draw attention to them and in a way that they understand that you respect their feelings.

4. Be consistent
As with any form of behaviour direction, consistency is key. If you say you’re going to go straight home after Woolies, don’t be surprised when your children have a meltdown when you quickly decide to make a last-minute stop at Clicks too. Stick to your story. The same applies for discipline. If you say that you will discipline your child for screaming or throwing a tantrum in the store, then do this in a discreet and respectful way.

Great Tip (from age 2.5 to 8 years)
A wonderful idea for taking your empty threats and turning them into concrete results, especially when you’re out and about with your children, is to carry a black marker in your bag. When your child misbehaves or oversteps their boundaries, and you pull them aside for a respectful word, you simply mark their hand with a circle. You explain to them, and they will soon learn, that this mark means that when you get home they will be disciplined as agreed – e.g. time-out, loss of a privilege, or whatever works in your household.
    This little black mark is a tangible reminder to your child that they have misbehaved and will have to face the consequence for their actions, but does not embarrass them or cause undue stress while you’re in a public place.

We hope that these pointers and the tip will go a long way towards making outings more fun for your family!

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better

If you would like to be notified of all new posts via email, please send an email to lizette@practicaprogram.co.za