10 tips to boost speech & language development

Children are talking less. In fact, research in the UK points to a disturbing trend where half of all five-year-olds entering primary school are very far behind on their speech milestones. “Up to 300,000 [children] are struggling to string a sentence together or [aren’t able] to understand simple instructions by the age of five,” says the Daily Mail article penned by Sarah Harris. And, says Sarah, the main reason for this sad state of affairs is that today’s parents simply spend less time speaking to their children than the parents of yesteryear...

    This is all fine and well, but we’re beyond busy these days aren’t we? Just how can we fit more time into our days? The fact is, being a parent has always been a really tough job, but our parents didn’t have television ‘digital’ babysitters or battery operated decoys… They had to find a way to include us and engage us… The simplest way back then was through conversation. And parents today can do the same – for the sake of their children’s ability to speak and understand language.

   The good news is that there are 10 easy pointers that can amplify your efforts as you encourage your little one’s speech and language skills.

1.       Put yourself in your child’s shoes
What does your child want to talk about? What would be most important to your child in the different situations you find yourselves in? Your child is most likely to pay attention to what you say when you’re talking about something that interests him, albeit using simple language. On top of this, you can  learn a great deal about what your little one is thinking and feeling by looking at his facial expressions and his body language to see where he is focusing his attention.

2.       Make it meaningful and simple

Always start with the most natural and common use of a word possible.
  
   For example, start with ‘bird’ before progressing to ‘goose’ or ‘duck’.

3.       Get descriptive
Try not to just name things, but describe them too…

   For example, ‘see the shiny apple’ or ‘touch the cat softly’. And, instead of simply saying, “Put it over there”, you can say “Please put the fluffy cushion on the blue chair.” The more specific and descriptive our language is as we speak to children, the more they learn.

4.       Get real
While it remains  really important to read books with your child and point to pictures, language is often learned much quicker through actual experience. For example, it is much easier to learn the words ‘kick’ and ‘ball’ when you’re actually kicking a ball together.

5.       Make the most of everyday opportunities
This is really an easy one, because any toddler wants to be involved anyway.

   For example, let your child help you pack the washing machine and talk about ‘socks’, ‘pants’, and other clothes, or let them “help” you find things in the grocery store.

   It’s great to introduce children to new and novel experiences for obvious reasons, but everyday experiences are specifically valuable because they create the opportunity for children to learn through real life experience. It’s also easy to repeat these experiences over and over again.  

6.       Use gestures
Not only is it ok, it is actually great if you use gestures for certain words such as ‘hello’ (wave), ‘fetch the…’ (point), ‘sit on my lap’ (pat your lap) etc. You can also indicate when things are big or small with your hands or point if you want your child to climb over or under something. To add to the meaning as well, you can use your voice and facial expressions to indicate anger, sadness, sleepiness, happiness etc.

7.       Repetition, repetition, repetition
It is very important to emphasize and repeat the words you want your child to learn. Sometimes you may need to repeat something several times and sometimes a hundred times; it depends on the age of your child and the particular word.

   For example, you can emphasize the word whenever the moment arises and then repeat it immediately again, “It is time to bath. You like to bath. Let’s go bath!”

8.       Respond immediately
There is nothing like an instant response to tell a child that using language and speaking is important and valuable to them. When your child sees results, there will be more incentive for them to try and try again.

   For example, when you’re child points at a dog and says ‘dog’, you can respond by saying, ‘Yes… there is the dog! What do dogs say? Woof woof!’

9.       Practice makes perfect
At first your child will be approximating words and they may not be pronounced perfectly. This is just fine at first, so encourage your child to use the word without correcting the mistake and embarrassing your child.   Rather respond by using the word correctly in a sentence, for example, when your child points to a baby and says, “ba”, you can respond with, “Oh yes, a baby! Let’s say hello to the baby!”

10.   What words are not…
In order to learn what things are, your child also needs to know what they are not… It’s generally best to point out what something is before pointing out what it is not…

    For example, when you are playing with a ball you can use the ‘ball’ and then refer to a cube and say, ‘Is this a ball? No! Of course not! (and giggle) It’s a cube!’

   When research tells us that parents are spending more time watching television than in meaningful conversation with their children, it becomes concerning. Language is vitally important for a child’s intellectual development and being a parent is a lot like being a tour-guide to your child’s world.

   Talking to your children doesn’t have to mean dedicating more time that doesn’t actually exist – it just means switching off the television, getting them involved and making a little effort to talk to them – they will love it and so will you!

Remember, if your child can’t name it, he can’t claim it.

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better...

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Asking and answering questions made simple

Image: www.lorenstow.co.za

Most parents can agree that it is incredibly frustrating when your baby or toddler wants something but can’t communicate what it is… You don’t know what to get them or do for them, and they get increasingly frantic… Another example is when you know that your child knows something, but when you ask them a question about it, all you get is a blank stare, like when you ask your child to show you the blue crayon and all of a sudden they can’t.

    With this in mind, we thought it would be fitting to do a post on how to teach your child to ask and answer questions. It is not as difficult as it sounds and is based firmly on encouraging your child to take part in his day-to-day activities while giving him a running commentary of what’s happening and why.

    Other than the obvious benefit of being able to understand what your child wants, teaching him how to ask to questions will also boost his confidence, help him to learn more about what’s going on around him in his world, and eventually increase his social skills.

Learning to ask

The process of teaching your child how to ask questions is, as with everything else, an on-going ‘dance’ that will continue well into adolescence, but you can get started from about the age of 21 months.

Question skills generally follow a typical order as follows:


2 yrs             Q: Yes/No     Eg: May I go?
2yrs              Q: What       Eg: What is this?
2 ½ yrs         Q: Where      Eg: Where is my shoe?
2 ½ - 3 yrs    Q: Who         Eg: Who is that?
4 – 5 yrs       Q: Why         Eg: Why is he crying?
4 – 5 yrs       Q: How         Eg: How did you make that?
5 – 6 yrs       Q: When       Eg: When is she coming?

“What” and “Where” questions develop first because at that stage a child is typically more interested in the names and locations of various things in their world. The “Why” and “How” questions develop from age four because this is when children start to think in more abstract terms. And the “When” questions develop after a child has learned a concept of time.

Why do some children struggle to ask questions?

There could be three reasons, and if your child is struggling at all it may be a good idea to see which area could use some attention. In order to ask a question your child needs to:

1. Know how to put words together to form questions
2. Have the thinking skills to think of something to ask
3. Trust that the other person is going to react positively

Encourage your child to ask questions

• You can start by modelling the behaviour and showing your child how people think about certain things, and then answer your own questions, for example “What is this? A feather!” or “What are we going to do next? Close the door!”

• Give your full attention when your child is asking a question, get down to their eye level and be patient, allowing enough time for the question to be asked.

• Answer your child’s questions – when you do this your child knows that they have been successful and their self-confidence is boosted.

• If you don’t understand the question, ask your child to repeat it or to try and show you. If your child hasn’t asked correctly or hasn’t used words, repeat their question in a simple, correct way and then answer it. For example, if your child points at their juice on the table you can say, “You want your juice? Here, mommy will get your juice for you.”

Learning to answer

The ability to answer questions develops at roughly the same rate as the ability to ask questions, and it’s a good idea to meet your child where they are at. So, if your child is asking “Why” questions, then you can assume that he can answer “Why” questions as well.

    The best time to ask questions is when you and your child are engrossed in an activity together. Wait and watch your child and see what his attention is on, and then ask a question about that. Make sure you have your child’s full attention before asking the question and allow your child some time to answer the question, creating a calm and accepting atmosphere.

    As a parent, it’s important to ask your child questions, but don’t overdo it and become like 00-Mom/Dad… It is all too easy to dominate the conversation. Try using questions to discover what your child is thinking and what he knows so that you know how to relate to him, rather than turning the conversation into a test or a lesson.

    And don’t forget, questions like “You know what?” are your child’s way of getting your attention so that they can share something with you – so respond with interest and love, and most of all have fun!

The Practica Team
parents who know better... do better


Comments? Suggestions? Or simply want to be added to the emailed updates? Contact lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

How to improve your child's memory

Picture: http://biggerthanyourblock.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/child_learn.jpg

Do you remember a time when that complicated maths problem in 8th grade suddenly made sense? It was as if the clouds parted and the understanding 'dawned on you', changing the way you viewed maths from then on? Or is there another moment when a sudden realisation left you looking at the world in a completely new way?

Our children are in the unique position where this kind of learning - the kind that facilitates seeing the world from a new perspective - happens all the time! But what makes this kind of experience 'stick' into long-term memory?

A recent study done by the Weizmann Institute of Science discovered that we tend to remember 'aha' moments that are emotionally-laden better than ones that have no emotional context.

Using MRI scans, the researchers found that when participants were given certain 'aha' moments, the part of the brain called the amygdala was activated. This is the area of the brain associated with emotion.

In the study, participants were shown degraded and hardly identifiable images and then were shown the actual (clear) image - in an effort to create a moment of 'oh... that's what it is!'

However, not all images elicited an emotional response or 'lit up' the amygdala. In the end the researchers were able to actually predict that those images which elicited an emotional response from the amygdala guaranteed that the participant would be able to remember what the degraded image represented a long time after.

This corresponds with what we believe when it comes to helping your child to remember and learn new things - that when learning occurs in an emotional context, it 'sticks'.

There are three simple ways to give your child an emotionally-laden learning experience:

1. Create an opportunity for your child to make their own discovery.
When you allow your child to make their own discovery, for example that a big ball does not fit into a small opening, but that a small ball does, you allow them to experience an 'aha' moment of their own.

2. Make sure there is a fun atmosphere.
Making the learning experience fun, with lots of emotion from your part, helps to make the moment 'stick' into your child's memory. For example, when reading a book, make funny voices for each of the characters, exaggerate your facial expressions when pointing at the pictures and make the whole experience really fun for your child.

3. Praise your child.
When your child learns something new or completes a task, praise goes a long way towards giving the moment an emotional context. If you want to learn more about praise, visit the posts we did on this subject here and here.

By adding emotion to your child's learning experience, you can go a long way towards helping them to create memories and learn.

Study: Weizmann Institute of Science (2011, March 31). New insight into 'aha' memories.

The Practica Team
Parents who know better... do better.

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What makes educational games really valuable?

Picture: www.maxamuxa.com

When little Johnny’s mother points to a picture and states that the elephant is ‘big’ and the mouse is ‘small’ it doesn’t mean much to the little guy.

Later, as the two of them are packing toys away, he tries to fit his big inflatable beach ball into the smaller sized toy basket with no success. His mom adds meaning to his experience by saying” Oh dear! The ball is BIG and the opening is SMALL. Let’s pack all the BIG toys here next to the wall and put the SMALLER things in the toy hamper.”

That evening, when she points to the picture in the book again, Johnny’s eyes light up when she talks about the “big” elephant and the “small” mouse. On their way to the bathroom Mom says: “Let’s make BIG steps like the elephant, and now make SMALL steps like the mouse” and the concept of big and small is slowly but surely starting to become more real to him!

Little children live and learn in a physical world.
Abstract ideas don’t mean much when it comes to little ones. They need real life experiences that clarify those abstract ideas for them. As in little Johnny’s case, the most meaningful real-life experiences can be divided into 3 categories: those that involve a child’s body (kinaesthetic experience), his hands (handling 3-dimensional objects) and his eyes (looking at 2-dimensional images printed on paper).

In other words, the best way to teach the concept of the ‘number three’ to a 3 year old will be to play three kinds of games with him:

1) Get his body moving: “Let’s jump in the air THREE times. Now let’s count while we walk up these THREE steps: “One, Two, THREE!”

2) Let his hands handle 3D objects: “Let’s build a tower with THREE blocks.”

3) Get those eyes looking at 2D images: “Look at the DICE – how many dots do you count? One, Two, THREE! How many ducks are in this picture?”

Playing all of these kinds of games make all the difference.
In fact, this is the basis of much of the success of the Practica Program. Practica Parents will notice, as they read through the hundreds of activities listed for the various age groups in the Parents’ Guide that each and every one of the activities falls into one of the key three categories described above.

The beauty of the Practica Program is that all the work has been done for the parent and it’s handy to have all the specialised toys and printed material readily at hand.

Games that you can create yourself:
If you don’t own a Practica Program, there is no need to feel left out. It will take some time, but you can improvise and put together your own list of helpful activities.

Start off by selecting an age-appropriate concept that you’d like to introduce to your child. Then think of a game that involves body movement, another one that involves his hands, and another one that involves an image on a flat surface.

For example, say you’d like to introduce your child to the concept of a triangle:

Games in Category 1 (using body movement):
• Draw a large triangle with chalk on the pavement in your driveway, or use masking tape to tape a triangle onto the floor in your child’s room. Place a little toy at every corner and say, “Let’s walk on the triangle to get to the toys. Now let’s put all three the bears inside the triangle.”

• Get down on the floor and say, “Let’s see if you and I and your dad can use our bodies to lie down on the floor in the shape of a triangle!”

Games in Category 2 (hands handling 3D objects):
• Let’s use our fingers to make a triangle!”

• “I have placed cardboard shapes in a bag – put your hand in there and see if you can find me a triangle!”

Games in Category 3 (eyes looking at 2D images):
• “Let’s draw triangles on brown paper and then use it to wrap Daddy’s present. He loves triangles!”

• “Help me to use these match sticks to build lots of triangles on the coffee table.”

• “I’m busy drawing a row of houses on the blackboard. Let me show you how you can draw triangles to make a roof for each of them.”

Why go to all the trouble?
Many of us know what it feels like to work on an essay for weeks to get a mark of 60%, while the product that another child has whipped together in 30 minutes during break time ends up being published in the local newspaper!

And even more of us remember sitting in a Maths class, with hair rising in the back of our necks as we struggle to figure out which of whole series of mathematical rules should be applied to make some sense out of a question in a geometry test. And there was always that one kid who could give the sketch one look and immediately respond with a solution to the problem, almost instinctively. Well, that’s the kind of insight that we’re trying to develop in our children by introducing them to all kinds of concepts in a more creative and “real” way at an early age.

We want them to develop such a deeply ingrained understanding of the world around them at an early age that their understanding and insights will be almost sub-conscious by the time their old enough to make their mark in life! Almost like a golf player that practices his golf swing correctly from the start so that the ends up with the right ‘muscle-memory’ later on in his career.

We hope that this knowledge opens up a whole new world of possibilities for you and your child. It’s so much more rewarding to invest time and energy into doing things that really make a difference!

The Practica Team
Parents who know better… do better.

Comments? Please email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

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How to demonstrate our love for our children

Picture: www.dipity.com

Today we introduce our very first guest post - we will be inviting many people who work within the child development field to give us their take on what's important to know when it comes to your little one!

This guest post is written by Carol Bailie, a Child Educator and Parenting Workshop Facilitator. To learn more about Carol, visit http://www.daretolove.co.za/.


The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman and D Ross Campbell’s book) is a wonderful general parenting book that gives such helpful insights into how to help our children feel loved and cherished, and is certainly worth the read. One of the Five Love Languages is “ACTS OF SERVICE”. It is an interesting love language because of the huge spin-off it has for general, as well as academic development. Looking closer at this love language is a fascinating topic.

“Acts of Service Love” occurs when a parent demonstrates their love for their child through doing things for them that they can’t do for themselves. Examples would include cooking supper, changing clothes, bathing, carrying, feeding and helping with tasks they can’t quite manage.

However, acts of service love has to evolve as the child gets older – they have to learn the art of serving themselves and serving the family, and not having everything done for them all the time. This is where it gets interesting – how do you cultivate independence by teaching your child “Acts of Service Love”, and what is age-appropriate?

Gary Chapman says in his Love Languages book that “we do our children a disservice if we do not teach them to do laundry.” The principle is simply this – children of all ages need to be actively involved in all chores around the home regardless of how imperfectly they contribute.

So let’s have a look at some age-appropriate chores for little children:

• From the moment a child can walk (technically then a toddler), they can be involved in many acts of service. They can lay the table (one fork or knife at a time, and probably not in the right place) and they can take their own plate to the kitchen after every meal.

• From the moment a child can sit upright, they can and should be involved in helping to pack their own toys away. A good way to do this is to sit on the floor and help them, but you only do one handful or one toy when they do one handful or toy. So you take turns. While packing away you sing a little pack-away song (make something up if you like) to signal that this is the time to tidy up.

• Small children of 2 or 3 years enjoy cleaning activities, especially if they think they are helping mom or dad. They gain a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. You can try giving a small spray bottle with clean water and a cloth and ask them to “wash” the windows – granted it will only be the bottom bit, and it may not be sparkly clean, but it will keep them occupied for some time if you work close by doing something else. They can wipe the windowsill, dust with a brightly coloured yellow duster, and wipe out toy drawers or containers when you sort toys.

• My children always loved washing activities – I give them play kitchen plates and cups in a basin of soapy water with a drying rack and dishcloth. Washing plastic items in a basin is great fun, as is cleaning plastic toys or washing dolls.

• Gardening is always brilliant – small rakes for raking leaves may take forever, but working alongside you with your big rake they will have a huge amount of fun. Putting the leaves in a wheelbarrow and then climbing on for the ride is even better!

• I started a very small vegetable garden when my son was about 2 or 3 years, as I found it to be a fun and constructive activity to involve them in putting compost in the bed, digging it over, making little spaces for seeds, planting out seedlings and best of all, picking vegetables for our table. Our gems have been far and away the most fun!

• From about 3 years, a child should start to help with the making of their bed.

• All children from two onwards should carry their own bags to school and back again!

• Children who can walk can help to put their pyjamas under the pillow and dirty clothes in the laundry basket and towels in the bathroom. At this age they will have to be reminded and accompanied, but from about 3 – 4 years they should be able to do it as a matter of course.

• Washing is indeed full of opportunities – putting the clothes in the machine, pouring in the soap, handing mom the pegs, sorting the colours of the dirty clothes. From about 4 years they should be able to take their own clean clothes to their drawers and put them away.

Acts of service involves a number of very important skills which all children need when they go into a playgroup or preschool setting:

1. Hard work
2. Work ethic (i.e. we value hard work)
3. Team work
4. Appreciating the work of others
5. Responsibility (care for toys, the house)
6. Perseverance
7. Doing things you don’t like
8. Eye hand co-ordination
9. Crossing the mid-line
10. Visual perceptual skills
11. Satisfaction
12. Patience
13. Following instructions
14. Autonomy and independence
15. Task specific skills

Involving small children in manageable acts of service each day not only helps them to learn the art of loving others through serving, but it serves the purpose of preparing them for many educational and life activities. Have fun!



when we know better... we do better

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How to discipline your child - part 2



Picture: http://www.schuitema.co.za/

 You’ve heard it before – every single piece of literature on discipline contains the word ‘consistency’. Yet it is something that is surprisingly difficult to achieve ... and many people wonder how important it is anyway?

The answer is that consistency is more important than most parents realize. In fact, if you cannot provide it in your discipline routine, research suggests you should rather discard discipline altogether. Why? Because a lack of consistency doesn't only confuse your child - it actually reinforces bad behaviour!

Imagine for a moment your favourite pastime – it could be playing Bingo, golf, fishing, gambling, scrap booking, video games or checking your Facebook page. Research suggests that these popular pastimes can turn into 'addictions' due to what is called the 'partial reinforcement effect'. In laymen’s terms, it refers to the fact that these activities reward those who engage in them in random, unpredictable ways, and so they become very addictive. You keep going back for more because you are never guaranteed the same outcome. It's exciting in a frustrating way, and these experiences actually condition you to want more and more.

Now, apply the same principles to your child. When you react in random, unpredictable ways when your child does things that are unacceptable, it's only natural that he or she is will also over time become ‘addicted’ to the game of ‘what will mommy or daddy do this time?’.

To top it all off, children have such a profound need for consistency in their lives that they, without fail, respond to unpredictable parenting by becoming deeply insecure and fearful. They are then driven to act like little tyrants as they almost feverishly repeat the same behaviour in an untiring effort to 'crack the hidden code' of the household they live in. Their innate sense of surival compels them to experiment over and over again as they try to find some kind of pattern or sense of predictability in their parents' reactions.

This potent mix of survival instinct, fear and excitement is what makes people addicted to extreme sports like sky-diving, base-jumping, swimming with sharks etc. If this mix creates a drive in people that is so strong that it motivates adults to risk their very lives - imagine how easily a child is swept away by it.  

HOW TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD

Pearl of Wisdom #2:

Discipline is about consistency – the key to forming associations

When parents consistently reinforce good behaviour with positive responses and link negative behaviour with negative outcomes, their children eventually learn to associate various ways of acting with 'good' or 'bad' consequences. As a result, they really DO crack the 'hidden code' of the household that they live in. Knowing that they can largely predict their parents' reactions in most situations leaves children confident and secure. Consistency leads to associations, which leads to security.

Plain. And. Simple.

What does this mean practically?

• Consistency requires the same reaction to the same behaviour every single time. In other words – if you’ve decided that hitting requires a warning followed by a time-out and persistent nagging requires that play time comes to an end, don't switch that up the next day.

 • Consistency requires that you choose ways of disciplining your child that you can apply once or one-hundred times a day without getting so tired and emotionally drained that you end up losing self-control or throwing in the towel. In fact, repetition is the cornerstone of training - so we can just as well make peace with it.

 • Consistency means that you start off the way you’d like to continue. In other words – don't let your children get away with certain behaviours when they’re younger, and then expect them to understand why they can’t do it later on.

• Consistency is a team-effort. Ideally, all the key persons in your child's life should be pretty much on the same page regarding which discipline-action is taken when specific boundaries are overstepped, as well as which positive behaviours should be rewarded and how. 
 

The important thing to remember when it comes to consistency is that without it, your discipline routine simply will not work as expected. In fact, it will most likely do more harm than good. Because of this, it is better to have a few rules, that you are capable of consistently following-through on, rather than many rules that you cannot be consistent about.

We cannot have a post about consistency without also reminding you about the power of consistently rewarding positive behaviour – a pat on the back, an approving look and a bit of real and honest validation from you are the most powerful incentives for your child to repeat desirable actions.

So, it is best to count the cost with regards to your discipline routine with your child. The importance of being able to offer consistency will mean that at least in the beginning, until your child starts to form negative or positive associations with their actions, a massive amount of energy will be required on your part. Ask yourself… are you up to it? If not, rather prepare yourself sufficiently and then begin, when you have the courage of your convictions behind you.

Words: Loren Stow

when we know better... we do better

Comments? Email lizette@practicaprogram.co.za

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